In case you weren't there I've got to tell you, last Saturday night at Arq was to die for...
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"Would somebody please say something?" Corey looks around the table at Michael and Calum. They've all been eating silently for most of their breakfast, lost in their own thoughts.
"Okay. So it's late and I'm leaving Arq..." Calum starts off, he's been wanting to tell them this for a couple of days now but it's really not been the right time. It's probably not the right time now either, but Corey looks like he needs a distraction, "...and there's this really hot guy and he's really perfect."
"How perfect?" Michael's paused, his fork halfway to his mouth as he waits for Calum's answer.
"Perfect," Calum raises his eyebrows, looking directly at Michael to get his point across. "And we end up at my place. He's telling me how he works with emotionally disturbed kids."
Michael rolls his eyes when Corey makes soft cooing noises.
"And then he tells me he's the captain of the gay water polo team." Corey claps his hands together, he sounds all kinds of wonderful.
"So we're making out and I'm picturing him in a pair of Speedos with a flag on it and then he asks me if I've ever been to Brazil. So, of course I say no, and he tells me he just got back and how fabulous it is."
Michael and Corey eat as they listen, Corey making appreciative noises every so often. Calum finds he quite enjoys a captive audience listening and carries on;
"I take off my shirt and say something about how it must have great beaches and then I dropped to my knees to unbuckle his jeans...he's got a great body...and then he tells me Brazil's got these 'things'. So I asked him what 'things', and he says parasite things." Calum looks around the table, unsurprised that both Michael and Corey had stopped eating.
"Then he takes his shirt off as he's telling me that they live in the sand and they 'sort of' burrow themselves right up in there!"
Calum nods at both of them, their eyes are just as wide as his were when the guy was telling him this.
"So of course I stood up! I wasn't going to hang around down there! He had them, Brazilian Beach Parasites, in...his...ass." Calum says it slowly for effect and he's not disappointed, both Michael and Corey look a little sick.
"Ew!" Corey grimaces, "Well, at least you found out before you got too far."
"What about you?" Michael asks him.
"We were just getting started..." Corey smiles as he recounts what happened to him last Saturday night when he ended up in a dungeon of sorts, trussed up in leather straps by a bear of a daddy dressed in a gimp mask. "I felt like I was in a 1991 Madonna video! Anyway he tells me we need to hurry up a little because he's got a bride and groom to do in the morning. So naturally I ask him if he's bi and he says no, they're dead, killed in a car crash."
"You went home with..."
"An undertaker," Corey confirms, nodding.
Michael and Calum snigger, Corey always manages to get himself into these situations.
"I fucked an undertaker once," Michael tells the group.
"You did? When?"
"He told me sometimes they sew their mouths shut." Michael says it quietly, so they both have to lean in to hear, enjoying the look of shock on both their faces.
YOU ARE READING
Queer as Muke
Fanfiction"The thing you need to know is, it's all about sex. It's true. In fact they say men think about sex every twenty-eight seconds. Of course that's straight men. With gay men it's every nine." Twenty nine year old advertising executive Michael Cliffor...
