"I say if it walks like a boyfriend..." Corey starts off.
"Talks like a boyfriend..." Sam joins in.
"Then it must be a boyfriend!" They both chime together, grinning like Cheshire Cats.
"Will you two please shut the fuck up?" Michael growls, tipping his head to look at them both from the shot he's lining up on the pool table. Then he lightens up, his tone dripping sarcasm, a fake smile plastered on his face looking more like a grimace, "I think it's great that Calpal's got a steady."
"He's not a steady!" Calum objects. He's been feeling very uncomfortable about everything to do with Stephen since he walked into the Fox over an hour ago to meet up with the guys, and he doesn't know why, which is also making him worse. "We went out twice!"
"Around here that's a long term relationship," Sam chips in unhelpfully.
"Next thing you know you'll be exchanging rings..." Corey says dreamily.
Sam nods, "And you'll have one of those commitment things where all two hundred of the guests have slept with not one but possibly both of the happy couple!"
"Just promise me you won't wear matching white suits!" warns Corey, his forehead puckering up in horror.
Calum smiles at his expression, "Trust me, there's no way that's going to happen!"
"Well then, I suggest you watch out for the warning signs!" sing songs Corey, putting his arm around Calum as Sam nods in agreement. The way they're both taking it in turns to speak makes Calum nervous and jittery.
"What warning signs?" asks Calum warily.
Sam leans on his cue, "Like when he brings you flowers..." he suggests.
"Or when he invites you away for a romantic weekend in the country..." advises Corey, starting to take it in turns again with Sam, Calum's head turning from one to the other like he's at a tennis match.
"Not much that you'll see much besides the bedroom ceiling..." smirks Sam, taking a swig of beer.
"Your shot Cal," Michael tells him, trying to interrupt them. All this hetero talk has got him unnerved.
"And the most tell tale sign of all!..." sings Corey, ignoring Michael completely, seemingly oblivious to Calum lining his shot up, "...When he meets your mother and she invites him over for dinner!"
"Fuck!" Calum swears as his pool cue clips the ball, bouncing it clean off the table and making him drop two shots. Luke deftly swipes the ball up in his hand before it bounces again, arriving at the table with perfect timing.
"Something the matter?" Michael asks Calum innocently, not at all oblivious to how nervous his best friend is behaving.
"Lost my grip," Calum says, staring at the pool cue, hoping that Michael doesn't grill him for information like he usually does.
"Guess what I got today?" Luke teases Michael, twirling Calum's ball in his hand.
"A new bell for your bicycle?" asks Michael, unable to keep the mocking tone out of his voice. He's not in the mood for Luke right now, not when he's trying to figure out what's going on with Calum and why he freaked out back there when Corey mentioned dinner at his mum's.
Luke ignores the slight about his age. "A nipple ring," he tells him, lifting up his tee to show a flat stomach and the flash of a silver ring, his mouth lingering over the words as he looks at Michael from under hooded lids. He pushes aside a sudden fantasy of Michael bending him over the pool table and fucking him.
YOU ARE READING
Queer as Muke
Fanfiction"The thing you need to know is, it's all about sex. It's true. In fact they say men think about sex every twenty-eight seconds. Of course that's straight men. With gay men it's every nine." Twenty nine year old advertising executive Michael Cliffor...
