Things just keep on getting worst

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Harry POV

Why did I do that? He clearly wasn't ready for anything yet.... yet why .. why did he have to make such a painful face. It looked like he didn't want me touching him... at all... I needed to clear my head.. I.. no. I can't hurt him again. But how am I going to apologize? Without even looking from behind me, I can feel how hurt and confused he felt.

I paced back and forth through the living room like a mad-man. The lads were patiently waiting for my ranting, pretending to be in such a deep conversation. "All right.. I'll break the ice." Liam stared at me with a daddy-directioner look, and I quickly stopped pacing and looked at them. "What happened?" he asked sternly, and I blushed and looked away.

"Oh my god.. you tried it didn't you?" Zayn asked with his mouth wide opened. "I did.." I whispered feeling a little smug. "But I don't know if he felt the same..." the lads looked at me with sympathetic looks. Liam pulled me in beside them and patted my shoulder. "So I'm guessing you were going to try it... but he rejected you?" he asked, and I nodded feeling another pang of guilt coming my way.

"I don't know anymore lads... do you think he feels the same?" I looked at them with tears already starting to form in my eyes. "I mean... I tried not to hurt him... I really do... but..." I swallowed. "I can't read the signals I'm receiving. At one point we were all lovey-dovey..  but then when we get too far.. it feel as if we learned nothing at all, making the same mistakes over and over hurting one-another" I covered my face with my hands.

The tears I've been trying to hold back now started flowing. I can feel my self quiver. "I... I just don't know what to do anymore..." I muttered between sobs. "Maybe you guys need a break... from all this.." Niall said with a serious voice. I looked at him confused. "I mean.." he scratched the back of his neck trying to form the right words.

"I'm not saying that you guys should break-up... but... If either of you guys can't come to a conclusion to how 'exactly' you feel for one another.. I'm mostly applying to Louis... then what's the point of going out if you guys keep on fighting?" My eyes widened by his words of wisdom. Liam and Zayn made no comment about it, and just stared at me with blank faces.

"Li... Zayn..?" I asked them to elaborate. Zayn and Liam looked at each other asking each other through eye-conversations on which one should talk first. Zayn sighed and gave up. "I... sorta agree with Niall here... not that I hate your public PDA's.. but he's got a point... if Louis is afraid to do such things, and yet he's not secure enough for you to touch him... It's you're call Harry." he shrugs. "Liam?" I called out to him and he nodded.

"Harry... you know I'm looking through it from the view-points of all of us right?" he asked, and my head bobbed. "You should do which one you think is the best decision. If breaking up with him finally resolve your relationship and ease down on the fighting... then.. I guess.. I agree with Niall and Zayn." he looked at me apologetically, and I felt absolutely gobsmacked.

"S-So... It's either fight all the time, or break-up and resolve the fighting.. huh?" I asked them while I looked down in the carpeted floors. "N-No... Niall said that it can be a temporary break-up.." Liam cooed. I looked away at a random spot avoiding the concerned gazes. I don't know what I should do... There's alot of decisions to make.

If I was to hypothetically break up with him temporarly, then it would surely break him. I knew what would happen.. I've seen it happen before.. What exactly am I supposed to do? I don't wanna lose my best mate and boyfriend at the same time. It will surely kill him. The lads gave me the space to think while they're at their own flats. I needed it, and I felt grateful for it.

The odds kept on playing inside my head over and over, and over. There's nothing stopping it. What if he does something completely idiotic about it? I don't want him to hurt himself. Not ever! I groaned and face-planted my face flat on the couch. What do I do?

Louis POV

"'s your choice Harry." I can hear Zayn's voice from the crack of the door. It totally stung to the very core of my body to hear such words. I couldn't hear anymore, and sat at the foot of the stairs unable to say a word. I wanted to hear some of words of protest from Harry, but heard none.

While the lads left, I took a look at the crack at the door. Harry was there looking as fragile as ever seriously in deep thought that he clearly didn't see me peeking. He looked so vulnerable right now. He's considering it.. I can tell. That serious look on his face means that he's looking at all odds.. and views on what this might do to our relationship.

I could hear the panic from his groan. He's considering my feelings too... Maybe.. Maybe we do need a break? I don't know.. If we were to possibly break up.. then maybe... maybe all 'this' would finally resolve. Just a little break up would be... UGH!

Who am I trying to fool? This break-up is going to be a horrid idea. Harry looks like he's in so much pain whenever he thought of it. The lads ideas were not too bad to be honest... but ..  I can't get myself to do it. I honestly love him too much to lose him now. Our relationship is the only thing I value apart from my family and friends of course.. Maybe there's a reason why I'm hesitating to go further..I need to find out.. and the only reason is to... to break-up.

"I can't do this!!" he screamed within his cries he was tugging on his curls that if he put down to much force he'll probably go bald and pull out every ounce of hair in that beautiful head of his. I've come to a resolve. I opened the door wide open feeling the ounce of energy leave me to say such words. "Harry.." I whispered, and his eyes hesitantly looked at me with his eyes puffed up from crying.

"Louis?" he asked almost sounding like he just found out I existed in this world. "I..I.." he whispered and looked away. "The lads.. they said... that ..." he croaked looking at me with pleading eyes. "I know.. I heard.." I whispered looking at him with guilty eyes. He whipped his curls looking at me with a surprised look. I looked away. Here it comes Lou.

"I've been thinking about it.. and.." Tears started building up, and I bit my lip. "Lou, let's break up." he said with a stern voice. The words hit me like knives it pained me as it did him. "Okay.." I whispered. "Let's break-up" I repeated. Niall, Zayn, and Liam I hope you guys know what you're getting with this plan.



Sorry, I just had to. You guys need to know the insecurities that Louis has, and they won't be known unless they break-up. Don't hate me, it's necessary :) <3

~Cam xoxox

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