• Chapter IV

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this fire 
that burns 
inside of you 
it is the chaos
and chaos, darling 
is art.

this fire that burns inside of you it is the chaosand chaos, darling is art

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If not my fault, then whose was it?  My fault...

Slytherin

The word seemed more foreign in her mind by the minutes passing, but so familiar in such a painfilled way. She could have been the one people were staring at in shock, not muttering the slightest syllable. 5 years ago she could have been the one, whos nightmares reached reality. Maybe it was a little luck, that the hat blessed her with red and gold, even if there was no such thing as luck - especially at that moment.

But maybe, if she really was all of that, what Gryffindor stood for, there was no one telling her that she didn't give those Slytherin-like-traits to him. So she gave herself the fault.

The boy could resemble McGonnagle and probably the rest of the professors perfectly, wide eyes and mouth hanging open. But their lips weren't trembling when it really doomed them. They weren't shaking furiously and they weren't scared to even take the next breath.

Cayden looked only briefly in Victoria's direction, but that short eye contact was enough to let her hit a whole other wave of terribleness. Overwhelming sadness carried by her brother hit her like a wave, and she couldn't swim.

It wasn't her drowning. It was the boys', running out in the second Dumbledore's annual speech ended. The girl was left with probably the worst feeling you could bear as a sibling, because at the moment he ran out of the hall, with visible tears staining his cheeks, the girl kept sitting.

She didn't answer Lily when the girl asked in shock if everything was alright while her plate turned empty. She proved her unhealthy way of dealing with emotions in a demonstration with a tight smile, no answer, and words towards her fellow prefect, saying they should lead the first years now up to the towers. Despite how much Remus tried to get other words than those, who were facts about Hogwarts, out of her mouth, Victoria hurried away as quickly as those who were hurrying up their dorms for the first time.

Lily wanted to talk to her in their dorm. But the blond that prided herself on not being hot-headed was busy almost screaming at the Slytherin prefect for not telling her the password. As she couldn't convince him on saying that, she convinced him to tell Cayden that she waits for him to talk to her outside.

All in all, she realized that she was rushing towards rock-bottom when the prefect came back with a sneering smile and reported that Cayden didn't want to see her. Till 4 a.m. she waited outside, just to not miss him stepping outside for whatever reason there was to be up at 4 a.m. But he didn't show up. The hat said that she was cunning, yet not enough to pursue the painting to let her in. It said she was clever, yet not enough to find a way to the blond boy.

So she spends those hours tracing her fingers over the cold floor and thinking that he hated her, because he shared her opinion - it was her fault.

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