TEARS FROM THE MOON

Chapter 27.

I froze.
I just stood there, stock still at the sink and was quite unable to move any part of my body.

What the hell had he just said?
And had I actually heard him correctly? Or had my ears been deceiving me.

Did Alan Rickman just tell me that I was his daughter!!!!!

This was truly the most awful thing that I had ever heard in my entire life and I honestly thought that I was about to throw up.
I grabbed at the sink unit for support as I felt myself begin to rock slightly.
Don't faint, I told myself.
Please don't.
I couldn't bare it for him to catch me in his arms again, like he had done before when he had first given me the script in that lovely little tea room.

But this was terrible.
So truly terrible.
Oh my Goodness! I just couldn't carry on with the film now. Not in a zillion years, not with what we would have to do together! Besides armed with this information it just wouldn't be ethically right. Not right at all.
How could it be?

But if he already knew, what on earth was he playing at handing me a script like that in the first place!
I mean, he had already passionately kissed me!
Twice in fact!
Oh no! This is seriously fucked up!
How long has he actually known?
This must have been what he had wanted to speak to me about, so why had he waited until now to tell me?

Why had he waited for me to actually fall in love with him?
So many unanswered questions were now spinning around in my head and I was also aware that he was looking at me, staring at me in fact, but I couldn't turn around. I couldn't bare to even look at him.

But he had stared at me.
He had stared at me all that time ago, the very first time I clapped eyes on him, during the making of the Harry Potter film, The Goblet of Fire.
Heavens! Did he recognise me then?
Was that the reason for his constant staring at me? So much so that even Amelia had noticed and commented to me about it.
How could he have known about me though?
My stomach very suddenly twisted.
Of course! my Mother was with me during my time on the set.
Maybe they had been in contact right from the start. A little secret they had shared together for all these years, when I knew nothing at all about it.

No wonder he had been was so very keen to take me all the way to Shropshire to see my parents that time! And he had actually driven me there himself as well.
This was all now fitting perfectly into place!
So too was my Father's reaction towards Alan! I couldn't understand it at the time just why Father was particularly off with him, when he was usually such a friendly sort of a person.

Shit! That is why he never wanted me to become an actress in the first place. He had always been against it and I could never understand why! It was starting to become so clear to me now, crystal clear in fact. Little wonder that Sarah had always been the favourite with my Father. And this must have also been the reason why my parents had never attended any of the plays I'd been in either!

Tears began to prick at my eyes and a large lump began to constrict itself around my throat. This was just the most terrible of revelations imaginable and I wished now that I had just carried on walking when I had the chance and had never come back.

"Gwen?".
I heard a deep, low voice sound gently from behind me.

I grasped the sink tighter within my hands. I was very suddenly angry at hearing his voice and felt like yelling at him to get out.
But I needed explanations. I needed to hear from him, just what the fuck had been going on! I mean this is huge, this is immense this is going to change my whole life forever!
Jeez, no wonder he had been so cagey around me lately. All the little hints that he had been dropping about not wanting me to get too close romantically with him.
And then refusing to answer my question about if he had any kids, well, it all made sense now!
He had got one.........and it was me!