TEARS FROM THE MOON

Chapter 44.

It had now gone surprisingly dark outside as I stood at the huge open double doors and looked out.
The spotlights that shone up everything, were now fully on and their brightness caused me to frown away from them. I gathered my gown closer towards my body and scanned the scene before me.
Luckily there seemed to be no one about, although I could actually hear far off voices of people shouting.
But I paid little attention to them, I was far more interested in the long line of trailers just down from where I was now standing and was trying to pick out which one was in fact Alan's.

I knew that his was the closest one to the studio, so that he wouldn't have too far to walk, but it was hard to tell if there was an actual light on inside, such was the severity of these damned spotlights shining right down into my eyes!
I leant forward, so as of not to actually go outside and screwed them up. It was then and only then that I noticed it had now begun to actually rain and rain quite hard too.
Oh great!
Well I couldn't go out there now anyway, even if I had wanted to!
Not still dressed like this!
No, I would just have to go back inside to the dressing room, get changed quickly before coming back out.
But could I really risk the chance of not seeing Alan if I did all of that? Even if I ran all the way back and got changed super quick! As Ruben said to me before, Alan doesn't usually hang around.
I gave a sigh to myself. It felt right that I should see him tonight though and it was imperative that I do actually speak with him before the premiere! I had to explain to him that what had happened on the film set this evening was nothing at all to do with him and I had realised something very important now.

That I had actually fallen deeply in love with him.

My stomach twisted from my own thoughts but I also had gained a very sudden feeling of complete euphoria.
I just had to tell him.
Now......... before the premiere. I might not have another chance to explain my feelings towards him before then and I knew that when I did, things between us would be a whole lot better. I was convinced of that.
Maybe Alan had been holding back all this time because he wasn't sure about my own feelings for him!
Well, I was about to make them truly known.
I had to do it for my own sanity if nothing else.
He had to know.

I shivered again and looked up, just in time to notice the tall, large frame of Alan Rickman himself, just off in the distance, closing the door to one of the trailers.
My heart skipped a sudden beat on seeing him and I lerched forward, the exposed skin on my feet making contact with the cold, wet, muddy grass beneath me.
I looked down.
Yuk!

Mud was now squelching up over my bare feet and in between my toes.
How disgusting!
But seeing Alan leaving his trailer like this I felt a strange sudden, desperate and immediate urge to go right over there and see him. The desire to speak with him was just so overwhelming and any common sense I actually possessed had totally disappeared as I now found myself beginning to run towards him.

" Alan! ". I yelled, as I squelched barefoot, in the mud and the wet to reach him. "Wait!"

I was now, stepping over all sorts of cables and pipes that lay strewn upon the ground, with all the elegance of an elephant in ballet shoes, as I was slipping and sliding all over the place. My gown was already soaking wet through from the rain and my hair was stuck to my head and back as I could now feel all the makeup running down my face.
But still I kept going.

"Alan!". I yelled again, trying to keep my balance on the wet surface.

He then suddenly turned around.

The expression on his face was one of complete disbelief as he watched me approach and who could blame him. I must have looked like something out of a fifties horror movie as I came lumbering towards him from out of the darkness, wearing nothing but a soaking wet, peach coloured, baby doll nightie and up to my ankles in brown, squelchy mud!
I slid to a stop just in front of him and it was then that I suddenly realised, he was not in fact alone.
My heart lerched when I now saw the very beautiful face of Silva Hodgson peering at me from beneath the cover of a plastic, see through umbrella.