SLEEPSONG (BoyxBoy)✔️

Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

When I finally went to bed that Wednesday morning, my mind was blank, lost in a limbo of heavy darkness that engulfed me more and more with each moment that passed me by. With my eyes tightly shut and my body lying still, the only thing I even remotely felt was an overwhelming sadness that I couldn't describe. 

It was painful, agonizing, even suffocating.   

I kept seeing the nameless vampire's face in my head, over and over again, heard his whispered words, saw those wide, soulless red eyes, that bloody smile, and even now I could feel the sharp burn of his fingers crushing into my body, the snapping of my wrist smashed under the godlike strength of his icy grip, the ache of my jaw as my pants had been shredded, and every part of my being was going through a chaotic combination of confusion, remorse, guilt, disgust, and anger. 

I wanted to tell myself it hadn't been real, that it hadn't happened, only... I couldn't. 

There was no way in the ever loathing hell it had just been a dream. 

Is that what I really am? I wondered, shivering violently. Am I going to turn into that someday?

I violently recoiled at the thought.

I didn't want that. Ever. I couldn't... wouldn't, even if I had to kill myself to prevent it.

"I won't become a monster like that," I whispered, drawing my splinted wrist close to my chest and cradling it with my free hand. "I'll do whatever it takes, I won't let that happen to me."

All day, I couldn't sleep, and it had nothing to do with the sound of construction workers using power tools and thumping around my living room just beyond my closed door. If anything, listening to their normal every day banter and conversations and planning calmed me.

My thirst was growing stronger with every minute that ticked by, but by the time night rolled around and the workers left my home, I gave up on sleep and kicked my blankets off my body. 

I had too many questions to sleep, questions only Sebastian could answer.

I walked into my bathroom and flicked on the light, angrily turning the faucet on. And make no mistake, I was angry, but I was mostly pissed at myself for being so stupid in the first place, with the rest of it being directed at Sebastian for being right. 

I glared at myself in the mirror, gripping the sink bowl to support the weight my still-wobbly legs couldn't really handle, though my arms weren't fairing much better, leaving my frame to shake unsteadily as gasps of air slipped past gritted teeth. Frustration bubbled under my ribs and threatened to smother my lungs. Shame glazed over it to make it boil hotter and faster.

I needed to stop thinking about it.

I rubbed my nose, then grabbed a plastic garbage bag from the sink cabinet and wrapped my arm up before shedding my clothes. I needed a shower, thinking about what had almost happened to me still made my skin crawl, but for the longest time all I did was stand under the hot water, eyes shut, letting it wash across my skin. 

Steam had completely clouded the bathroom by the time I finally got out and wrapped a towel around my hips. I took roughly fifteen minutes to blow dry and brush out the snarls in my hair, and as an after thought I leaned close to the foggy mirror and examined my roots.

I was relieved to see nothing but fine bleached blonde.

"At least that's something," I muttered, pushing my fingers through my bangs to keep them off my forehead; I studied my jaw, tilting it this way and that, but the bruising was even more palpable than the ones Sebastian had first inflicted on me.