Black hearts meet Red

Chapter 9

Amal

*Warning : Harsh and Voilent Context Ahead*

"I will ruin you whole and you wouldn't be able to do anything."

"You have pride that you are so beautiful and you can easily have anyone around your fingers but that is not true."

"You think you can win hearts by these big eyes then you are living a dream, I promise to scatter."

"Don't try to show me your innocent tears, you deserve this.."

"What did you think? I will say versus in your beauty, you are nothing but ugly in my eyes."

"You are the most hateful person in my eyes.."

"I will destroy you.."

I jolt forward, opening my heavy lids.Darkness welcomed me as I sat up straight against the cold wall.I gasped for air due to my heavy breathing.My heart thudding against my ribcage.The erratic beats numbing my ears, my body already numb sitting in the same position for hours.Jalal's words kept playing in mind, screaming against my ears.Pressing my palms against my ears, I tried to get rid of the mantra banging in my head.

Sharp words cutting across my flesh, blood drawing out.Burns spreading across the skin as the bitter syllables sink in.Puncturing my heart and causing deep pain with in.As if hot lave was poured on my skin.Burning the flesh and heating up the already imprinted scars.Someone was choking me, as I try to breath again.Oxygen leaving my lungs as they protest.My shoulders hunching inwards, my knees painfully numb.

I scream loudly, the demons fading away.The chanting voices dying down.I sit there drenched in sweat, my hands still pressed against my burning ears.Removing my hands, I heave large gulps of air, feeling breathless.Blinking my eyes few times  I bring my shaking fingers to my long hair, passing through them.My tired eyes move to the still open window, the clear sky welcoming me.No clouds on the vast canvas as I gaze out.Goosebumps appear on my skin as I shiver slightly, despite my warm skin.

Wiping the hot tears, I stand up.The cold tiles turning my soles pink as I close the window.It was soon gonna be dawn as Azaan e Fajr boom across the silent horizon.The night fading away and hiding behind as the new morning with new hopes, takes over.I reply to the Azaan and then go to take a shower.

As I say my dua after Namaaz, I couldn't help but cry as I ask for forgiveness, sharing everything with ALLAH, all worries, all pain, everything  expressing all the grieve and misery.ALLAH was the only one to hear, HE was the only one to listen to the silent pleas, HE knew everything I was going through.I asked ALLAH for HIS guidance, patience, peace and contentment of heart and mind.

Drying my long black hair, I brush them as my eyes stare absentmindedly to the mirror.Sitting on the low stool before the vanity, I think.Jalal had never seen my hair open because I hadn't allow him to, just one thing that was in my control.No male had seen my hair, except Sikander bhai but at a very young age I had started to cover my hair in front of him too.Jalal was allowed to see my hair but I thought the cruel man didn't deserve to see them.He already hated me to my very fiber and it would only fuel his hate more.

Before marriage, I had thought, a loving husband would cherish me, take care of me, and love me, but so much to ask for.I was a traveller with no light to lead home.I had lost it.

Passing the brush one last time through my long wavy black hair, I stand up.Turning a little I feel the wet hair tickle my lower back, stopping just above my hips.Biting my bottom lip, I search the mirror trying to observe the woman reflecting.