Rhapsody (Part 2 of Medley).

16: HARRY'S JOURNAL.

"JUNE."

Tour is starting in about a month. Still, these next few weeks before that, we'll be all over the place doing promo.

I've been so busy that I didn't want to waste time writing on this journal when I could use that time to be with Emilia instead. Every minute together counts now, since they're so scarce.

She's been working at the foundation for close to two months. A few days after we got back from her birthday trip to Jumby Bay in Antigua and after we got the news that the tour rehearsals were happening sooner than originally planned, Em decided that she was not going to sit around doing nothing while my schedule was beginning to fill up pretty quickly.

She's been talking about EUTS nonstop ever since. She loves it there and they love her back. I have no doubt in my mind she is going to be a great asset to the team. Being the most caring person I know, I'm sure she has the ability to push Everything Under The Sun to be more than what it is today, to do more, to help more.

So, to make the most of the free time I have, she's been working around my schedule to try and be home when I am. But knowing her, I don't know how long that's going to last. I'm absolutely certain the day will come when she tells me her life can't revolve around me.

I'm scared shitless of that day.

I still don't know how I managed to have her home for four entire months without working! But I know she did it for me, for us.

I FaceTimed her the other day while we were taking a break from rehearsals and she answered in the middle of a fit of laughter.

"What are you doing on the floor?"

I could see she was lying on the kitchen floor but she couldn't speak through the laughter. I heard her yell 'come here, baby' while looking at something or someone in the distance and for a split second, I panicked.

"Who are you calling 'baby'?"

"Him." She responded.

...And Seb appeared from the direction of the dining room with a tennis ball in his mouth. Em tried to take it from him, but his jaw was not allowing it without a proper fight.

I realized then that those moments are the things I'm gonna miss the most while on tour, all those little things that only take place on a lazy day at home, things that I won't get to experience on the road.

My life was never tied to someone else's like it is now with Emi's. Even when I left home when we went on our first tour with One Direction, I was so young and was so excited with the whole experience that I didn't miss my mother and Gemma until I was back home and saw them again and realized I had missed them. And by the second tour I was already used to being away from mum so I didn't struggle with the distance. I missed her, missed all of my family, but I didn't worry about it as much or dreaded the imminent time apart.

But now I have Emilia in my life and everything is different. The six months we've been living together changed everything.

I've been with her for longer than I ever dated anyone, and for the first time in my life, I feel like I've built something besides my career. For the first time in my life I have something other than my music that I love with all that I am.

In these past six months, I've learned to know her inside and out, and the more I see of her the more I like, and the more I get from her the more I want.

I think I won't stop wanting more from her, of her, until she is my wife and the mother of my children. And maybe then, I would still want something as insanely impossible as a chance to live forever.

She is everything I never knew I wanted. She's all that I needed but I wasn't looking for.

Emilia is a walking contradiction.

She's willing to give it all to the now, but is terrified of having nothing left for tomorrow.

She doesn't like promises but wouldn't mind some guarantees.

She never plans for tomorrow but knows exactly how she wants tomorrow to look like.

She wants to live for today, but her mind is always two days ahead.

She's the most sentimental, the most sensitive person I know. Yet she's the most logical, the most practical.

She's got a lot of negative things happen to her but she's still the most hopeful person in the world. She's a fatalist with hope.

She is the most delicate flower yet the strongest woman I've met.

She doesn't believe in God yet she's God's best creation.

She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen but she never uses that as an advantage or an excuse for anything. The only person she uses her beauty as a weapon against, is me. And I love her more for it.

Yes, she's beautiful. THE most beautiful woman I've ever seen. But beauty is just that, it's a superficial mask with no substance.
Besides being beautiful, she's charming. She pulls you in like a magnet with the fire in her eyes, she puts you under a spell with the grace of her mannerisms. It's the little things that make her irresistible.

Yes, she's intelligent. She understands numerous subjects and can learn things and comprehend complicated concepts that overwhelm other minds. But she's also smart. And being smart involves having common sense and instinct and intuition. Smarts have nothing to do with education, they can't be taught. You either have them or you don't. And she does.

Yes, she's an adult. She can make her own decisions and survive on her own. But what makes her a woman and not a girl is her maturity. She speaks with the wisdom of an old soul that's lived ten lives before this one. The fact that life challenged her in unimaginable ways at a very young age, made her have to grow up before her time. She had no choice but to mature because simply growing up wasn't enough. And she rose above all the shit life threw at her.

She's not just strong, she's invincible.

Yes, she is free. And she's also independent. She doesn't need me or anyone to make it through life, she has herself for that.

Yes, she has opinions (oh, boy, does she have an opinion on everything!) but most importantly, she has convictions. Millions of people live their daily lives not knowing what they stand for, if they stand for anything at all. She's very clear on what she supports and what she rejects, be it a political affair, a social matter or a human issue. But is also willing to change her mind if proven wrong.

She is all these amazing things combined.

Lethal combination.

How could I recognize all these things and not fall madly in love with her?

I would keep falling in love with her in the next hundred lives if I could ever be so lucky of running into her again.

So, as tour approaches and the dynamics of our life will change again, I pray our love resists the hardships of my job. Because now I have two things that I love the most in this world: Emilia and music.

And without either of them, I'd be nothing.

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Hi guys! I'm excited to be able to put out another chapter for you. I hope you enjoy it!

Been thinking of doing some kind of giveaway if Medley gets to 200k.

Lots of love to everyone, as always! x

********** UPDATE **********

Details of the giveaway have been posted on Twitter. Check out my pinned tweet @ Rainy_DayMonday