Rhapsody (Part 2 of Medley).

69: HARRY'S JOURNAL.

"No Right."

I write songs, I sing songs, I live songs. I've been inspired by them, I've been entertained by them, I've been moved by them, I've been affected and I've been changed. But I had never before been hurt by one.

My life with Emilia has been a series of first times.

Had been.

Learning she was coming for Eleanor's Bridal Shower put me in the most confusing mood I've ever experienced. I was furious because how dare she walk out of my life but not the lives of my friends!

I was mad because she texted me to let me know she was coming as if that should be important to me somehow. I was nervous because I didn't know how I'd react if I saw her. I was torn because maybe I did want to see her after all.

But then I figured that if I want to move on I can't see her again.

Anyway, I knew her presence here in London would have an impact in some way or another. I just didn't expect her to try and break me more than I already was.

It had been like a month since I was last at the house. I can't even bring myself to call it Aster Hall anymore, because that's what she called it. She was so damn happy when she found out the house had a name! And she called it that ever since, like it's a person and not a place.

The house is a cemetery of memories, I couldn't live there by myself. But my outfit for the wedding got accidentally delivered there, and since the wedding was taking place nearby I planned to get dressed there and avoid traffic from the hotel.

Emilia texted me the night of Louis's bachelor party. Party for the rest of the lads, I was just there as an accessory. Everyone was behaving, though. All we did was drink, and I outdrank everybody else.

When her text interrupted my fifth shot of tequila, my heart jumped seeing her name on the screen. She's been texting me frequently, but I ignore her or barely reply at all. Why won't she leave me alone? This time she said she was in London for one more day and she wanted to come by the house and get something of hers she left behind.

I deep inside wished that 'something' was me.

"I'd love to see you" her text read... What would she want to see me for? I don't get it!

But I was really tempted to agreeing to meet her. Part of me wanted to see her and dare her to come clean and confess to my face that I never meant to her what she meant to me, that her love for me was so fragile she replaced it as soon as she distanced herself from me.

'Drunk Me' had other plans.

I replied that I wasn't going to be at the house, but that Paloma would be there if she wanted to get her stuff.

Another missed opportunity.

I called the house before I showed up the next day to make sure she was gone. Paloma told me she had been in early and left after they had breakfast together. Again, I hate how close she is to the people in my life.

I went to pick up the tux for the wedding. Niall convinced me to stay at his hotel for the night instead, which is down the street from the reception hall.

When I came into the bedroom I walked straight to the closet to get the clothes, but when I laid them on the bed to go grab the shoes, I saw it. On the nightstand was my iPod with a note underneath that said 'Play me' in Emilia's handwriting.

I hesitated. For minutes, I was terrified of what I'd find when I followed her order. What's with her addiction to torturing people? What does she get out of making my life a living hell?