Rhapsody (Part 2 of Medley).

95: PIECE BY PIECE.

A knock on the door startles me while I'm brushing my teeth.

"Yes?" I yell while I dry my face with a towel.

This is really not the best time to talk to anyone.

"It's me. Open up."

Harry's voice calls from the other side.

I unlock the door and he lets himself in. Exhausted, I slide my back against the wall and sit down on the floor. Without saying a word, he does the same in the wall at the opposite side of the bathroom.

"Are you okay?"

He breaks the silence a few minutes after we just sat there looking at each other, afraid of asking the question that's been hanging in the air since he crossed the door.

"I'm okay now. But how did you find me?"

"I saw you running down the hall. I knew something was wrong."

I was hanging out with Sarah and Clare, his drummer and keyboardist, but I suddenly had to come up with an excuse to get out of there as fast as I could.

"Do you think you could be...?"

"I mean... I've been dealing with this stomach bug for a couple of days now, which isn't uncommon for me given all the stress I've been under, but it's not just that... I've been feeling sleepy all the time, and some smells have been bothering me that normally wouldn't. And just now I had to leave the girls' dressing room because Sarah's perfume was making me sick, that's why I threw up."

"Oh, my God! You are!"

His face lights up like a damn Christmas tree.

"Let's not jump to conclusions before we're sure. Please? I can't take another disappointment like the last two times."

The last two times I thought I was pregnant, we got all excited and way too ahead of ourselves and ended up with nothing but broken hearts. With my periods being all over the place since I stopped taking the pill, I missed my period two months in a row once and we thought that was a sign, but it wasn't. My body was just being a jerk.

Then the second time I started vomiting frequently and we thought that was a symptom of me finally being pregnant but I guess I was only doing it out of stress, like it always is with me.

It's not that I'm under pressure, but this is what I want most in the whole world, and thinking I was finally getting it and then realizing it was a false alarm really took a toll on me.

I don't want to be crushed with disappointment again.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry. Let me call Navin and ask him to go buy a test."

"But, Har, I don't want anyone to find out we're even suspicious. In case I'm not, you know?"

"And what are we going to do? There are people already queuing outside, which means I can't go out. And it'll be chaos anyway if it's you they see. Let's send Navin. He won't say anything to anyone, you know that."

"You're right, that's fine."

Harry takes his phone out of his pocket and talks to Navin for a minute or two, instructing him to go to the nearest pharmacy and get two or three of the most sophisticated pregnancy tests he can find.

"I'll postpone the show if I have to."

"Don't be silly! If Navin doesn't make it back in time, we'll do it after. I promise I won't do it without you."

We had this conversation about ten months ago when we decided to start trying, back in December. He didn't like the idea of me going through the anxiety and the nerves of doing a test and waiting for the results on my own and him finding out later.