Rhapsody (Part 2 of Medley).

55: LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME.

           

The phone is ringing.

Every time it does, I hope it's him.

He doesn't call as often as he used to. Before, we couldn't go through more than a few hours without talking. We needed to feel as close as when we were physically together in order to endure the time apart. Nowadays, the longer we go without speaking, the longer we delay our next argument.

But I miss his voice. The absence of his voice is deafening.

I rush to the desk where I left my cell phone charging and disappointment flows through my veins when I see that the name on the screen is not Harry's.

"Hi, Stef! How are you?"

My brother has been checking on me a lot more often since I told him things weren't going so well in the paradise that Aster Hall used to be.

"H-hey, sis?"

His tone puts me on edge instantaneously. It's shaky and low-pitched and I can tell when Stefan is nervous, even over the phone.

"What's wrong?!"

The office door is open. I always keep it open because I can talk to Maggie from here if we speak loud enough. I guess I spoke loud enough for her to hear my question and conclude that whatever conversation I'm having, can't be good.

Maggie stands by the door, waiting to judge by my reactions if things are okay or not.

"Are you at work? Is anyone else with you right now?" Stefan tries to compose himself and soften his voice, but the alarm bells are already blaring.

"Yes, I'm at work with Maggie. But please tell me what's going on before I assume the worst!"

"You need to get on a plane here as soon as you can, Em."

My world starts spinning. 

My brother's words keep repeating in my head like an echo. Maggie pushes me down on the chair so that I don't plummet to the floor, and I feel like I'm on a trance, disconnected from everything around me and completely submerged in the meaning of these phrases.

"He's in the hospital."

"Heart attack."

"May need a transplant."

"Might already be too late."

"He never told anyone."

"We don't know how long he has."

They play like a broken record inside my head. And I repeat them out loud to Maggie but I'm not even sure I say the sentences in an order she can make sense of them.

—————————

When I came back from Baltimore, expectant, hopeful that things would finally take a turn in the right direction, life punched me in the face and told me to stop being so damn naïve. Then it told me to take a seat and quietly watch my life crumble to the ground.

Harry welcomed me home the day after I arrived. The meeting he was having that morning was postponed to the evening, so he sent William to get me from the airport and I came home to my dog, Sebastian, and a boyfriendless house. His meeting turned into drinks after, and he didn't get in until around ten o'clock.

I was tired from the flight and jetlagged, but I was also cranky, so I went to bed before nine. I had just fallen asleep when Harry got in bed, but the movement woke me up. My back was to him so he couldn't see when my eyes sprang open. But I closed them again immediately, I didn't want to have to face him when I was already upset with him before we even spoke a word to each other.