A Child's Promise (BBRae AU) [COMPLETED]

XXV

XXV
Wildfire
~~~

Cars fly past him. All having somewhere to be, unlike him. The sky is cloudy, yet there are pockets of sunlight shining through, breaking through the thick cloud coverage. It's a haphazard sight to see from mother nature, a woman who prides herself in order among her kingdom. It reflects his emotional and mental state very well though. It's like she, like him, was confused about everything in her life. It is warm and muggy, sunny yet cloudy, hot but cool, all at once.

And the worst part? Everything is fighting to rule over the other. The clouds are attempting to block out the sun, while the sun struggles to break through. The warmth of the air feels like it's clashing with the coolness of it everywhere you walk. The thick, heavy air was pushing everything and everyone down, and somehow, the light, thin air closer to the ground is always fighting back for whatever reason.

His heart won't stop beating a million miles per minute. He is so anxious... It's times like these when he wishes he had taken the time to find or make a safe place. A place he can always count on to calm him. But he has no such place. To him, that place is a person, and not only is she not available, she's at least 50% responsible for his anxiousness.

He doesn't want to go home. Most definitely not. He can't face Rita and Steve after the way he left them.

"You can't ever help me! Stop trying! Don't ever try and help me again! You'll only screw it up!!" After those words he slammed the door. But only now is he realizing how much those words must've stung them. He can feel the pang of regret hit him like a truck every five minutes for those 4 sentences.

Yes he would apologise, but not now. He is in no state to apologise. Hell, he isn't in a good state to be interacting with anybody! His decisions wouldn't be his own. He decides to take to the city. He can simply think and walk there. No distractions.

Hopefully.

It isn't anywhere close to being a safe place, but it was good enough for the time being.

He makes it into the city and it has a very solemn tone to it this time around. Combining the gloomy sky suggesting rain and the noticeable absence of cars makes for a very lonely walk.

He really wishes that Raven wasn't with her father. He'd give anything to see her right now. Just to hear her voice. Just to feel her hand intertwined with his. Just to have the feeling and taste of her lips on his linger and dance on them, even if just for only a little bit.

But honestly, all he wants from her is a hug. A simple hug.

He probably needs more than that, but for now, it's all he wants.

Before he was so sure that he knew what he was doing. That he knew what to do with himself. But the events of today change all that. Valeri said something. Something that, despite his best efforts, made him really reconsider what he's doing.

"Ask yourself this, Garfield: Does what you're doing make any sense to you? Do you understand exactly why you're making the choices you are? Or are you just going with your impulses?" 

That woman had figured him out in a little less than an hour. And he had told her so little and acted so aloof and flippant the whole time! He swears she was a detective in her past life.