30- where next?

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Niall

"So I'll see you tomorrow?" Ethan asks as we sit in his car outside of the d-dorm building.

"Yeah." I answer shortly before grabbing the handle to my door. I don't know why I feel like I should be waiting for him to make a move, this was barely a date.

Clearly we can't kiss, it's too new.

"Goodnight Niall." He says softly as I return the wish and shut the door. He doesn't leave the parking lot until I'm inside which makes my heart swarm with butterflies. Something I haven't felt in a long time.

I unlock the door of my dorm and step into the dark room. I sigh before quickly changing and caving onto the bed.

My whole world seems to be feeling neutral. Well, as neutral as it can be for being pregnant, cheated on, and going out with my professor.

Somehow everything just feels like it's something that time will sweep by. All of my effort is gone and I don't have a single second to muster giving a fuck.

He's drained me.

I haven't seen him since I confronted him and honestly, I don't mind. Before I used to find myself missing Harry and wanting to have anything to do with him.

Maybe I'm not reacting like this because I love him.

I'm reacting like this because I've fallen out of love with him.

It breaks my heart to even think about that possibility but it's true. When was the last time he's ever done anything for me without thinking of the reward of sex?

Exactly.

He never has.

He's only ever done things for himself. I doubt if he even thinks twice of me.

I roll over and close my eyes letting sleep take over. I don't want to think about anything anymore.

____

My alarm blares on my desk waking me up from my much needed sleep. I wish that I had a few more hours to snooze past my alarm clock but I have to make it to class on time today.

I shake my head before I get up and begin to get ready. I get dressed in sweats and a t shirt feeling like how I look. Shit.

I don't know why I have been drained of energy so suddenly.

Oh yeah. Because of the little shit located in my womb.

Don't get me wrong. I love children and babies and the thought of having a family of my own sends butterflies into my stomach.

But Harry has tainted this experience leaving me with only stress to think about the fate of this baby.

I walk out of my dorm with my bag around my shoulders. It doesn't take me too long to realize that I'm not alone in this hallway. Of course I wish that I were.

"Uh, hey." He says softly as I lock my door and begin to walk down the hallway away from him and towards the
exit.

"Niall, baby-"

"Shut up Harry. Just Leave me be." I say sternly before walking out of the dorm building. I know that he's still following me because I can hear every step that he takes in those godsman boots.

"Niall, fuck! Let me talk to you!" He yells as I stop walking. I may hate him, but his control over me hasn't vanished.

"I made a mistake, I'll stay away from him. I was staying away from him until just last week. We barely did anything Niall." He says as I roll my eyes.

But he still did something.

"I love you and you know that. Please." He begs as I cross my arms.

"You don't get to hurt me and apologize like nothing happened." I say before walking to my car.

"I'm seeing someone anyway." I say unlocking the door and looking back. Harry hasn't gotten any closer since my confession but his arms lay dead at his sides.

I shouldn't care about this.

But I do

I always do

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