Two ghosts // Narry

48- reasons and wreckage

I lost a lot of readers while I was away but hopefully they will find their way back 😩😊

Niall

I am able to reach to binder as Harry holds me against his chest. His soft breathing runs through my hair as I open the old binder hearing a crack in the binding.

Most pages are handwritten and others are typed but still hold that same writing attitude that Harry holds in his everyday life.

When I check the date I'm surprised. This isn't from university. This is from high school.

I read a few pieces that are boring until I get to a piece that seems very angry. The page is covered in dried brown liquid that smells like coffee.

This was the day I started school, the day Harry got latte all over his clothes. I stifle a laugh and read Harrys point of view on Othello.

The book Othello is overdrawn in emotion and holds little communication. Much like how love is today. Honestly, I felt as if this book captured the essence of love perfectly. It's not everything it seems and it's too complicated. Of course we still have desire and want but Shakespeare viewed love how it should be interpreted. Worthless wiring that leading to nothing. Othello was viewed as bad just by his complexion and Desdemona was far out of his league, another part of love that is demonstrated today. Jealousy is not driven that extreme and Othello should have just gotten over himself instead of killing Desdemona. The only thing he did was prove how his love was not real and he was only concerned for himself and his own well being. Just as he should.

The next piece I read is softer. This was after our first time hanging out. I can tell from the title alone. Weekend adventures. I check for a grade but this paper never seemed to make it to the teacher.

I have never been one to go out on dates or have close friends. But this weekend was different. I threw my usual party, with bongs, Beer, and all of the things that could get a nice kid into trouble.

That's who it was, a very nice kid, wouldn't hurt a fly. I would hate to see him mad because it doesn't suit him at all. I feel lost around my 'friends' but I feel lost around him too, only for very different reasons.

I'm not gay, I never will be gay, I'll never have sex with a guy and i would sure as hell would never kiss one.

So why does his kiss feel so much better? Why does his skin light mine on fire? Why do his lips seem so much softer?

I'm lost

But maybe I don't want to be found this time.

I place the binder on the night table and hold Harrys arms closer to me. I feel the wetness on my cheeks and shake my head. It's just the hormones

Harry's arm moves and cups my stomach making the tears rush down my face and I can't seem to hold it together.

"Hey?" I hear Harry's raspy voixe whisper concerned as he leans over me looking tired and he worried.

"I love you, you know that right?" I ask as Harry rests his chin on my shoulder.

"I do, I know I don't deserve your love though." He says as I shake my head and wipe my palm against my cheek.

I don't want to comfort harry for his mistakes because he is right, he doesn't deserve my love one bit yet I find myself being attracted to him for that very reason.

"No, you don't." I agree before looking up at him.

"But I do love you" I say softly as his lips press against the warm skin of my shoulder.

"I love you too" He says before running his thumb under my eye collecting any of my tears that have seemed to escape my attempt of wiping them off.

"I just wish you wanted this" I say quietly as he stays silent.

"Me too." He says softly as I feel my heart softly breaking.

"I don't know if I can do this." I say finally spilling the truth. It feels good to get these thoughts off of my mind and clear the weight from my chest but it seems as if i just placed a boulder over my heart and it's slowly sinking into my heart

"I'm going to be here for you." He promises as I shake my head.

"Until when? Our next fight? The next time you have a bad day at work? Whenever whatever you're hiding from me comes to the surface?" I ask as Harry sits up.

"We don't have to worry about this now.-"

"Then when? When I have this baby in a broken home-"

"I said we don't have to worry about this now, we have time. We can sort this out, we can get into a routine. We can make this work" he says as I find myself laughing.

"This is weird. You being the positive one, trying to convince me that we can work." I say as Harry nods.

"Things are different now. I'm not just fighting you anymore." He says as I sit up.

"Harry, this baby means the world to me, I don't want to have to say it but if I need to leave to protect it for any reason, I will." I say as Harry looks down at me.

"Then I won't give you a reason."

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Short little fluffy arguments for you guys. I have a surprise coming soon (: