The Dark Side of Science

Chapter Eight

(A/N: Over 200 reads. Thank you so much xx. That means a double update is coming up! Follow me @reallyrebecca_)

The look on Beau’s face made my heart sink. I couldn’t face, not right now anyway. I ran to the toilets. Yet again. Tears started brimming in my eyes, threating to spill over and roll down my face. I reached the toilets and the tears started streaming down my cheeks. The toilets were completely empty. I ran to the furthest stall, slammed the door and fumbled with the lock.

I couldn't take it anymore. I was so beyond done at this point. I scratched my wrists furiously, a burning sensation accompanied the 100's of miniscule cuts on my wrists. Why the fuck did this happen to me. I didn't ak for this! I didn't deserve this. I clenched my fists, my knuckles began turning white from the lack of blood. I punched the wooden bathroom door.

"Fuck." I yelled at myself clutching my hand as it throbbed with pain.

I walked out of the stall and kicked the door back on its hinges.

The bell sounded. Holy shit I must of been in there for half and hour at least. One thought stayed in my mind the entire time. Beau.

I needed to speak to him.

Beau wasn’t exactly the hardest person to find. There are only so many guys going around in wheelchairs. I mindlessly strolled around the school waiting for a glimpse of Beau. I walked past the canteen and saw him over near the water dispenser. He noticed and his eyes flashed with emotion. What emotion? It was a cross between panic and anger. Beau was usually happy to see me, but ever since the incident, he has seemed to possess only coldness towards me.

“Beau-” I started but was quickly interrupted.

“Jessica I don’t want to hear what you have to say.” His voice was breaking. He had no anger in the tone of voice, just sadness.

I was already crushed inside. That was the first time he had called me Jessica in months. It was always just Jess to him.

“But I-” I stammered.

“Jessica.” His tone was warning.

“I just want to be friends again?” I asked, my voice a squeak. I looked down at the concrete beneath my feet.

“You what!?” He yelled at me. “You. Want to be friends with me? After everything you did! You stood there! You did nothing! N-nothing…”

“I-I can’t even walk! And it’s all your fucking fault Jessica.”

My head snapped up as I registered what Beau had just said.

“I’m so sorry Beau.” I said, meaning it with every fibre of my body.

“You think your sorry is going to help me walk again? I had a love for sport! And you took it all away from me, in one fucking day.”

I had never fought with Beau. I had never heard him yell, and here he is, screaming right in my face. I held back my tears; I didn’t want Beau to see me cry.

“I couldn’t help you.” I simply spoke.

Beau balled up his fists and looked like he was going to stomp off away from me. Then a look of despair crossed his face as he realised he couldn’t. He turned his wheelchair around and moved his hands on the black rim of the wheels. As he started moving away form me I grabbed onto the handles and forced him to halt.

“Wait.” I said desperately.

Beau’s brows furrowed. He reluctantly swivelled his wheelchair around because he knew I wasn’t going to just let him leave without me finishing.

“I couldn’t help you. I would of… would of died.” I whispered the last three words. I was waiting for him to yell at me again but he just sighed.

“Yeah I know…” a single tear slid down his face. “I just needed someone to blame for all this.” He said motioning to his legs.

I let go of the cold metallic handles of his wheelchair. He took one last glance at me and left.

I felt a slight weight lift off my shoulders. But even in his anger, he was still right. I did nothing to save him.

The bell was distant in my thoughts but my subconscious knew it was time to go to my next class.

I bumped into Tia on my senseless wander around the school.

“Oh hi Jessica…” I could tell she was feeling uncomfortable.

“Um… Do you know what class we have?” I murmured.

“We have double science… But I think we have Mr Lenard today.”

I was relieved that we didn’t have Mr Carrigan. I wouldn’t have to see his immoral face. Then I remembered something, my expression immediately changed form relief straight to panic. I had to meet Mr Carrigan at lunch. Shit. Tia must have noticed my emotional change in appearance because her own face had a look of confusion.

“Jessica are you feeling ok?” she said, looking around nervously anxious to get to class on time.

“I’m fine.” I rolled up the sleeves on my red hoodie; it was a habit of mine when I got nervous.

Mr Lenard was a nice teacher; he was kind of a pushover though. I wasn’t complaining though.

“Jessica?” Mr Lenard said, his voice was deep but his was tone soft.

“Uh yes?” I answered.

“I asked you a question.” His voice had not irritation behind it, just concern.

Shit, not this again.

“Sorry I didn’t hear you.” I muttered.

“Oh, I’ll repeat myself for you.” He said quite happily. Most teachers would of given me a detention by now. Not Mr Lenard.

“Can you name 3 metallic elements?” he said.

“Copper, Iron and Gold.”

“That’s right.” Mr Lenard beamed and drawled on about the properties that these elements had.

I managed a small smile and continued with my work. Well not work exactly, just drawing little pictures.

By the end of class I had completely forgotten about my meeting with Mr Carrigan. That was until I felt a large hand on the edge of my shoulder.