The Dark Side of Science

Chapter Twenty-Four

(A/N: Hey guys I reached over 2k reads! But you guys haven't been voting. Cmon guys!)

Our eyes met. His eyes were filled with extreme hurt. Well I don’t blame him; I’m lying in the bed with Beau of all people.

“J-Josh what are you doing here?” I squeaked, fucking stupid Beau hadn’t moved yet. He must have a death wish.

“Oh I don’t know Jess, maybe to come see you. My girlfriend.” Josh’s words were slurred.

“But you…” I struggled to find the words. “But you left me, you walked out on me.” My voice was barely audible.

“Jess I didn’t leave you. I just needed time to think. What you said was pretty heavy shit to take on board.”

“Mate it looks like you did a little more than think.” Beau sneered.

“Get the fuck out of here.” Josh yelled at Beau.

“And what if I don’t? She wants me here not you.” Beau countered, this was not going to end well for anyone.

“Fuck off cunt. She doesn’t want your fucked up disabled ass within a 10 kilometer radius of her.”

“Well we all know that’s complete bullshit.” Beau laughed.

Deep down I knew Beau was right but I just continued to stay quiet.

Josh looked into my distressed eyes and took a deep sighed

“Beau you need to leave now. I am not going to hurt you now for her sake.” It took all his patience and self-control not to have a violent outburst.

“Fine I’ll go.” Beau said to Josh. “But not because you told me to, I’m doing it for Jess.”

“Good go.” Josh snapped.

Beau lent into me, I gulped. I was sure he was about to kiss me in front of Josh. To my relief he just spoke.

“Please think about us Jess. Think about how we were today.” Beau whispered very quietly. He climbed off the bed slowly and got into his wheelchair. As he wheeled out of the room he winked at me when he was sure Josh wasn’t looking.

“What the fuck Jess.” Josh yelled at me as he spontaneously burst into tears.

“Josh. I am so sorry… I didn’t mean to… Please.” I had also started to cry.

Here we were. To 16 years olds uncontrollably crying in a hospital room.

“Out of all the people Jessica. Out of all people why was it him?” Josh managed to say in between sobs.

“Because he turned up to see me.” I squeaked.

“So that’s an excuse to go cuddling up in bed with him is it?” Josh’s eyes were still bloodshot and were glazed over.

“No but...” I started then realized here was no explanation.

“No but what?” Josh persisted.

I sighed. I had no idea what to say. I couldn’t explain myself. I had no right to explain myself. I had done wrong by Josh. So now I will have to pay the price.

“I don’t know.” I admitted as the tears began to stain my face.

“Jessica don’t cry. Please don’t cry. You cry enough. All because of me.” Josh said as he walked over to be letting me lean into his arms.

The tears that fell form my eyes started leaving marks all over Josh’s shirt.

“Jess I lover you so much. I have told you this many, many times but you fail to believe me.” Josh said, his voice sounded defeated.

“I do believe you. I do.” I said in-between sobs.

“Do you love me?” Josh asked tilting my chin upwards so I was looking him in his crystal blue eyes.

I couldn’t answer him. One thing I knew about Josh and myself. I didn’t love him. I cared about Josh deeply. But I just couldn’t bring myself to say it. I couldn’t tell Josh that I loved him. That would be a lie. Dishonest.

“That’s what I thought.” Josh let my chin fall from his hand. I immediately looked away form his piercing blue eyes.

“No Josh it’s not like that…” I tried to defend.

“What is it like then Jess? I am no doubt putting more into this relationship than you. But I guess it has to be someone. Because stupid life can’t be perfect.” Josh brought his hands to his face, covering it from my view.

“I just don’t know how I am going to deal with all this you know?” Josh slid his hands down his face. “You in the bed with him. Doing god knows what. It just…it just broke my heart. I know that sound corny and cliché but I can’t explain it anyway. Yeah I know that I am an asshole. Yeah I know that I’m a possessive dick but I do that because I don’t want anyone to steal you away from me.” Josh’s face was tear stained, his eyes were still glistening with water.

“I don’t want to leave you Josh.”

“Then tell me why you were laying in that bed with him?”

“Well because I… I thought you left me… and he came to see me… and he was being so nice…” I started to ramble on.

“Jessica I just needed time to think. I couldn’t leave you if I tried.”

These simple words made my heart melt. Josh really did love me. All I did was just repeatedly hurt him.

“I am so sorry I promise you.” I begged for Josh’s forgiveness.

“Can you please just not see him again, I mean at all. Don’t talk to him on anything? Promise me Jess.”

“I… I promise.” But I truly wasn’t sure if I would be able to keep this promise

 “Thank you. It means a lot. I love you.” He whispered as he leaned down and kissed me.

“Uh Josh there is something I should tell you.” I said when Josh pulled away from the kiss.

“What is it babe?” Josh asked sweetly.

“Uh its about… Beau.” I said slowly.

“What? I really don’t want to hear it.” Josh snapped harshly.

Fuck I could get whiplash from his mood swings.

“I really think you should know. I don't want to be dishonest.”

Josh looked at me waiting for an explanation.