The Gang Leader's Shorty

Chapter 22

"What the fuck?" I speak out at Cole in shock and his head snaps up at me and his eyes fill with regret, "Lexi," he starts and I shake my head. 

"No, Cole. First, you break up with me for something I didn't do, acting like a fucking dick and now this? You're acting like a real asshole, Cole. You're acting like an exact replica of my father and I can't stand to say that to you because that has got to mean something to you," I accuse him and he stares at me incredulously at the fact that I just said that to him. However, it's true. The name calling, drugs, shouting, mistreating. The whole lot of it is a tiny section of my father glinting underneath Cole's surface. 

"You did not just say that," he says, suddenly standing up and towering over me. Jess and Gina cling onto each of my arms for dear life since they haven't seen this side to Cole before. I stagger backwards and this is the first time I have felt so afraid, vulnerable, threatened by Cole. I feel like I'm standing in a room with my father. 

"Yes I said it, Cole, because that's the only way I can get you to listen to me. To feel the pain you put me through when you called me them names," I say, taking another shaky step away from him. He stares at the distance between us and looks back at me. 

"Are you scared of me right now?" he asks, scrutinisingly. 

"You want me to be honest?" he nods, "Yes, yes I am afraid of you right now and so are Jess and Gina because, you know what? People are unpredictable when they're high and, as much as I'd like to think that you're different, I can't because you are exactly the same. I know that deep down you're not this person standing here, you're Cole Stone. My Cole Stone. The Cole Stone that would never lay a finger on me, never call me names, never do this to himself because the Cole Stone that I know has self-pride and loves me and trusts me and doesn't wallow away in his own sorrow," I say to him, slowly stepping forward throughout my speech until I am a short distance from his chest. 

"Well, maybe you didn't know the real Cole Stone, Lexi," he says and I shake my head, "Don't try and feed me all this bullshit, Cole. You know I'm not an idiot and you know that I, of all people, know you and who you really are," I shout and he looks completely taken aback on how much I am trying. 

"How do I know that, Lexi?" he moans, rubbing a grubby hand over his face, leaving his eyebrows dishevelled, and I shake my head again. 

"Remember the first time we properly fell out, I can't even remember what it was about, but you spent every god damn day setting up adorable little apologies in the hope that I'd forgive you. You made me realise that I needed to change if I was going to ever be with you and you broke down these walls. You're the reason I am who I am, speaking today, standing up for myself. You're the reason I have these amazing friends, the reason I'm on the rounders team, the reason I have an amazing home to go to if I need it. You're the reason for all of this because you aren't this...this bad guy that you want everyone to think you are. Of course, you're tough, strong and even have the looks of this facade you're putting on but you have a heart of gold and that's who I fell in love with, not this," I say, trying to reach out to him as he did to me that day in the car park, just hoping that it doesn't end the same way. 

"That's not my problem," he says, turning away from me, stubbornly.

"This is your last chance, Cole. If you let me walk back out of this stretch then we are over for good. We will never be back together. Take this chance and make amends or let me walk away and be through with me forever," I demand and he looks further away from me. I know Cole hates ultimatums because his entire life has been compiled of them but there's no other way forward right now. 

My heart is shattering into a million pieces and my voice breaks on the last word as the tears silently stream down my face. Jess and Gina hold onto my arms as we slowly back out of the gap. I reach the end, Jess and Gina already out and I am about to turn around and walk out when I look back at Cole to see him staring at me, eyes filled with tears, he opens his mouth to say something but it clamps shut. 

I shake my head, "I shouldn't have expected anything more. Goodbye, Cole," I shake my head and turn away.

Cole's PoV- 

She turns away, "Goodbye, Cole," I go to shout for her to wait but I hear her sniffles as her new friends comfort her. 

I longed to tell her that I didn't take the drugs that she saw, they were all left from other people and I had only just got there before she came but I couldn't. It's better for her to have this opinion of me. Her words struck me so hard that all I could do was disagree, even though I knew she was right. I can't believe that I just watched her walk away. 

"I love you," I whisper, my voice cracked and broken. I humiliatingly collapse against the wall, my head in my hands and I sob because I let her go, because she left, because I have nothing left to live for. That's when I decide that there's no point, I'm just going to stop trying, all I will ever do is pray that she comes back for me, that she realises that, when a guy cries over a girl, he really loves her.