Chapter 38

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"Lexi is dying of pneumonia."

Those five words are enough to crash my world like a wingless plane and rip me to pieces. They keep playing, echoing through my head as I watch Xander and Xavier rush her downstairs and into my car.

Have you ever wondered what it feels like to sink? Not only to sink in your own sorrow but in the muggiest and shadiest of waters. Every voice is distant and blurry, although it is a clear and starry night. Everything is dark and my vision remains as clear as a borderline blind person watching the television with cracked glasses. As if I am wading through the swamp that drowns me, I follow the boys out to my car, the keys in my hand, ready to race off to the hospital with my girlfriend dying in the seat behind me.

Everything about me is as fragile and temperamental as Lexi right now. My vision, hearing, physical movements and even my mentality. All of my functions are breaking down and coming to a halt as I see her pale, black and blue, almost lifeless body being lifted into the car. Xander gets in beside her, Xavier sits up front as all of them waiting for my ass to get into gear and help save a life.

All you need to do is drive, I tell myself in my head, at least you aren't physically fighting for her life like Xander and Xavier.

I jump into the front, finally seeing the importance of my role in her life as all the memories crawling it's way back into my mind. From the moment I laid eyes on her, to the last time I saw her for years, to all the cuddles and kisses shared, to all of the arguments, all of the laughs. They play around in my mind like a stuck record, never ending, timeless, only strengthening my determination to guide her through this mess. She will survive, even if it's the last thing I do.

"How long does she have left?" I ask hesitantly, "About an hour," Xavier estimates and Xander nods in agreement. I step on the pedal, speeding down the drive in the pouring rain and into the abyss. 

***

I swing into the hospital's car park and recklessly park in the closest parking spot to the entrance, not caring if I get fined, and stop the car, instantly jumping out of the car with Xavier to go and help Xander get Lexi out and into the hospital in the most efficient way possible.

We all grab her and swiftly rush her into the hospital and start shouting to all the nurses and they rush to take her off us and take over her treatment. They whisk her away into an observation room and I drop into a chair in the clinical waiting room, place my head in my hands and let the tears roll down my face, ignoring the turning heads from the commotion. I know I shouldn't be crying, especially in front of two members of my gang, but I can't help it. What if I never get her back? Never get to hold her in my arms? What if?

I look up with tear stained vision to see the Xav and Xand looking at me with sympathetic eyes, "Guys, go and get Max and James, let them come here and you take their places. Listen to all of Sebastian and Jasper's orders, get it?" I command and they nod, Xavier with a smile on his face, "What are you smiling at? This is not a smiling matter," I snap at him bitterly and the smile drops off his face.

"Nice to know you want us with you, boss," He jokes and I chuckle slightly with a smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes, "It's not that I don't want you here, it's just that James and Max are her friends and they know her best so when she wakes up," they look to me with caution, "she will definitely want them to be with her, and me," I explain to them and they nod, smiling slightly.

"We get it, boss, that dick was only joking," Xander tells me, elbowing Xavier in the ribs. I nod and put on a brave face, full of authority.

"Now, go. Get them and bring them here," I order them again. They nod and obey. 

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