Chapter 34

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I wake up and stretch like a little kitten in the morning and let out the loudest and gruffest yawn I can muster. I begin to relax my tensed muscles and I hear a chuckle from beside me. I snap my head in the direction of the sound and I see Cole staring at me adoringly, "What? I'm not a morning person," I grumble and he laughs even more.

"Yeah yeah," he drones and I roll my eyes and jump out of bed, "C'mon! We've got school and it's Thursday. Only two full days of school left!" I exclaim and rush into my bathroom to do my morning routine.

It seems really weird to think that, this time last year, I was a lonely mute with no friends at all, hiding from her father, alone with her twin brother and aunt. Without a glimpse of light in my life. Now look at me, a talking social butterfly of a girl with a troop of friends plus a dreamy boyfriend. No longer hiding from my father who is absolutely dead but sadly without her twin brother. All the light in the world shining down on my segment of a life.

Things have finally become better for me. It's just like my mother used to say, 'you are given this life because you are strong enough to live it' and, boy, was she right! I kicked my life's ass. 

I skip out of my bathroom, suddenly very enthusiastic for the end of the year to come. I will finally be out of the hell hole I was bullied in and get to go somewhere new, preferably with Cole by my side. I go to my wardrobe, fully aware of Cole staring at me. I turn around and swing my head so it is peeking out of the door and scowl at him, "Staring won't give you the power to see through my clothes, you know," I retort and he snaps out of his trance and his eyes widen.

"W-What?" He exclaims and turns a ruby shade on his cheeks, "You heard me, pretty boy. Go and get ready or I'm leaving without you," I demand and he stands up and walks to the door.

"You can't drive yourself to school so how are you gonna leave?" He yells from outside and I laugh at him and his childish antics, the feeling bittersweet as I remember shouting a similar thing to Luke when he used to rush me to get to school. I pick out my black ripped jeans, black sleeveless top, red checked shirt and black combat boots, leaving the red shirt untucked and adding a bit of concealer and mascara. Then, I grab my school bag and head downstairs.

I take myself one of the breakfast smoothies I bought as we hardly ever have time to eat in the morning because of Cole's slow changing but I don't mind, "Babe! Let's go!" I walk to Cole's car, thinking about how content I am but then guilt washes over me as I remember that Luke isn't here, it would've been better me than him. I see him already ready to go, "Hey, what's up?" He asks and gently holds my chin and makes me look him in the eyes.

"Nothing," I state and he gives me a deadpan look, "I think I know you better than that, shorty."

"Fine, I just keep thinking about Luke and how life would've been if it wasn't for him dying for me. It hurts," I say quietly and Cole pulls me in for a hug over the gear stick and central console and places a kiss on my forehead.

"I know but Luke's still here with us, isn't he? You even said so yourself, the only way to keep him alive is by remembering him," he soothes me and I take a deep breath, "Yeah but I was doing so well at being under control," I whine and Cole gives me a sad smile, "It's only natural for you to get upset, Lex. He's your twin, you can't bottle it up, it isn't normal," That's when I lose it. I start sobbing, my heart ripping back open from all the missed months of mourning pouring out of me and Cole continues to drive as though I'm not crying. 

He knows it's best to leave me to carry on and not interfere but, when I look over to him, his knuckles are milk white and his jaw is clenched. I know it's hard for him not to reach out to me. This is what I need: to pour my emotions out, unleash what was inside and finally show how much Luke's death has unsettled me.

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