My Secret Ex-husband(#Watty Awards 2019)

Chapter 25

                                                                                        CHAPTER 25

I remember falling asleep on the couch as I was sandwiched between Clary and Josh but I don't remember how the hell I landed on my bed. I turned over to face the window from where the soft morning rays were dancing through the curtains. For a slight tiny miney moment I forgot whatever happened yesterday or whatever was happening in my life. I just wished to enjoy this morning, the fresh air and the warmth it brings; the hope of everything just turning fine; however small that hope is. So, I slid off the bed and padded to the window. I opened the curtains and was welcomed by the warm morning sky. I stared at the scene in front of me and that was it. I don't remember the last time I had stood in front of my window and watch the sunrise or any moment for to say where I was not hyperventilating over Ryder or any stupid act of his. It was as if I had forgotten what life really was about. All that mattered was Ryder. All I thought about was him, how it felt being with him, in his arms or how it felt being away from him. And when it all became unbearable, I engrossed myself so much in work that I forgot to stop and think what I am actually doing. I forgot appreciating life.

Ryder had been a huge part of my life and he will always be. I can't delete all those years that I spent with him but I need to realize that it was in the past and I cannot live my present holding onto my past. Yes, it is difficult to let go especially when I know a part of me will always belong to him, it will always love him no matter how big of a jerk he was. But difficult does not make it impossible.

A small smile found its way on my lips and I wrapped my arms around myself. The cool morning breeze welcomed me and I felt a new found confidence building inside me.

"You are up." Josh's voice startled me from behind. I turned around to find him leaning by the door frame, holding two mugs in his hands. His hair was all messed up as if he was running his fingers through them.

"Hey." I said smiling at him.

"Hey." he replied as he walked towards me.

"You did not go home last night?" I now took in his complete appearance. His jeans were hanging low on the hips and he of-course was shirtless.

"And miss the opportunity to tuck you in?" he handed me one of the mugs and raised eyebrows.

My cheeks heated up in embarrassment and I ducked my head to avoid eye contact with him. Josh chuckled.

"You look beautiful when you are sleeping and the fact that you are not glaring at me adds cherry on the top." He said.

"Shut up Josh." I said rolling my eyes at him. I turned my attention once again to the sky as I took a small sip of my hot brewing coffee. Josh stood beside me facing the sun but I could sense him watching me through the corner of his eyes.

"But you look way more beautiful in the morning, especially with that smile."

My smile turned wider. We stood there for a couple of minutes without saying anything to each other, just enjoying the cool breeze and each other's presence and somewhere I felt I want more of this or maybe more of him.

Maybe this is not the right time and maybe this would turn out to be another one of disasters but yet it felt like the right thing to do.

"Josh?" I whispered his name not knowing how and where to begin from.

"Mhmm?" He tilted his head slightly towards me.

"Umm... Do you want to...."

"I want to what?" He turned his whole attention towards me now.