Love & Oxygen (COMPLETED)

Chapter 26

Tyler asked to go to the plot today. Josh wasn't quite sure why he wanted to go, but he knew it was important to Tyler, so he did.

They got there, Josh and Tyler sitting on the ground and looking at the space.

Tyler reached over and held Josh's hand. "We're gonna be here someday."

Josh didn't necessarily love that Tyler thought about death so much, but how could he not? He was nearly dying at least every two months from his lungs failing yet again.

"But we're actually gonna be up in heaven," Josh reminded him. "In our new, healthy bodies, all snuggled up together for ever and ever and ever."

Tyler nodded.

Josh wrapped his arm around Tyler as they both sat and looked at the plot.

"I'm excited to be here someday."

"What?"

"Because I won't have cancer anymore," Tyler said. "And I'll get to be with you and you'll get to see me walk normally without dragging an oxygen tank behind me and not ever wear a cannula and not have to take me to chemo."

Tyler had chemo tomorrow. This was Josh's first time with Tyler during it. He was nervous, but he refused to show it.

"What time do we need to be there tomorrow?" Josh asked.

"Be where?"

"The hospital."

"Why would we go to the hospital?"

"You have chemo tomorrow..."

"I can receive it at home," Tyler said.

"Really?"

Tyler nodded.

"So does a nurse come to us or...?"

"They're coming tonight with a bed and everything," Tyler said. "They'll set it all up and send someone tomorrow to start the IV."

Josh nodded. "Are you nervous?"

Tyler shrugged.

"You can talk about it, Ty. It's okay if you're nervous."

"I'm not nervous for the chemo itself," Tyler said quietly. "I just... I change when I'm doing chemo. I'm all shivering and cold and I'm throwing up and don't talk to anyone. I just... I didn't ever want you to have to see me like that."

"Baby," Josh said softly. "It's not a big deal to me. It's completely understandable as to why you wouldn't feel well or want to talk. Don't worry about that a bit."

"Are you sure?" Tyler asked.

Josh nodded. "Of course, baby. Just... just give me a sign for when you want me to leave the room tomorrow, ok? Just point to the door or something. It won't hurt me, I promise."

Tyler just sat there for a while.

"You said you aren't hungry during it, right?"

Tyler nodded. "I'll be throwing up anyway."

Josh nodded. "Maybe I can make you some dessert for the day after. And you can have brownies in bed. With me. And I'll hold you real close and feed you and we can watch movies."

"Maybe," Tyler said softly.

The boys went home, Tyler having to emotionally prepare.

He said he was going to take a bath, Josh asking if he could join.

"I think I just need some time alone right now, Joshie," he said gently, kissing his lips. "I'm sorry."

"No, no it's okay," Josh assured him with a smile and nod. "Do you want me to get you anything?"

"Actually," Tyler said softly. "A chocolate milkshake sounds really, really good right now."

"I'll go get one," Josh smiled. He was excited Tyler told him he could do something for him. He loved doing things for Tyler, but Ty often felt bad asking things of him.

"Thank you, Joshie," Tyler said. "I just... need some time to prepare for tomorrow, ok?"

Josh nodded. "I understand. I'll be back in a little while. Text me if you need anything else."

Tyler kissed his chin. "Thank you, honey. You're the best. I love you."

"I love you too," Josh smiled.

So while Tyler was in his bath, Josh went out and got him a large chocolate milkshake.

He returned, putting it in the freezer for Tyler when he got out of the bath.

He got out a while later, slipping on clothes so he wouldn't be naked when the people from the hospital came.

They arrived, Josh helping them set up the bed in the spare bedroom in their apartment.

There was a TV in there, a window, and now the hospital bed with what looked like a thousand cords all around it in the room.

They thanked the people then had to get ready for the following day.

They put several sweatshirts and sweatpants in the room for Tyler to put on. He got his beanie and his fuzzy socks, and everything was in place.

They climbed into their usual bed that night, Tyler nervous out of his mind for Josh seeing him like that.

"Nothing could ever possibly change the way I think of you," Josh said softly, kissing his lips. "I promise you that."

"I know, Josh, it's just... you need to see me like that so that when my time comes, it's nothing new," Tyler said. "It won't be as painful for you. It won't be new."

Josh couldn't express how much he wanted Tyler to stop talking about dying, but he knew saying it would harm Tyler greatly.

He simply nodded.

Tyler got under the covers, finding Josh's hand and holding it close to him. "I'm sorry in advance for whatever happens tomorrow."

"Don't be sorry, baby," Josh said. "I promise you, it's going to be okay."