Sinful Heart : Pride [Jookyun]

Sin 1

If walking to class for college with limited time, shows how much Changkyun cares - obviously, he have given zero fucks to give for life, in anyway. He would try, but honestly it doesn't matter. Surely, it is a risk of him getting kicked out, but getting kicked out of the college was honestly his last resort. He couldn't take it, anymore. 

Of course, he has something wrong with him. Whether it be his heavy heart aching deep down, but the outer shell have shield that slow, beating yet broken heart. The shell only known as emptiness to Changkyun. He was familiar with that feeling. 

Arriving at his class for daily dose of music knowledge, everyone have stared at him. It was awkward, but he have adapted to the embarrassment. It was a common occasion. 

"Sit down, Changkyun." The professor says with a sigh, and he did as he was told. Settling at the back of the class, in the far right corner, where he could easily lose his himself with the nature, outside. Flightless thoughts drawing him away from reality, he nearly heard his professor command him to stay after class. 

Resting his arms on top of his desk, he have put down his head and looked out the window. He wanted to dropped out, but he was waiting for the announcement of being kicked out. Supposedly, he would feel guilty for personally dropping out than waiting since his mother would be ashamed of him. 

She paid everything, but her son have dropped out after a few months. For what? Honestly, Changkyun doesn't know. He doesn't want to do anything, because he doesn't have the motivation or the support for it. 

Who knows. But, all Changkyun knows is that there is something wrong and he wants to fill that void inside him.

He have locked away that heart of his, and only focused on the things he should be better at in order to be happy. Oh, how cruel of him to compare himself with others. Treating his own self inferior. 

It felt like hours, but it only been an hour as the professor dismissed the class. Movement from other students have gotten up and left the class, leaving Changkyun in his own polluted mind, where his own dark thoughts seem to influence the dark brain of his. It was like nicotine, addictive, as it seems to kill him in the inside. 

"Changkyun, please come here. I need to speak with you," the professor sighs out loud. Changkyun got up without any hesitation, walking down the steps to the front of the class, his own feet dragging him along the tiled floor. The professor noticed how Changkyun's behavior have a relation with a zombie, but he doesn't seem to crave for anything. 

Lifeless eyes, with pale skin - he was a walking corpse. The professor knew Changkyun used to be so passionate, but after 2 months in, he have lost the flame within those passionate eyes of his.

"Changkyun, are you alright? You seem..." the professor waved his hand towards the other, as he couldn't describe Changkyun in a way where he won't be offended. Even if it was offensive, Changkyun seriously does not give a shit. "I guess. Are you going to lecture me not to be late?" he sighs, and the other also sighed out loud. As though the professor needed to catch their own breath because they felt like they had to run down a hill to catch up to Changkyun. 

"You're far behind, Changkyun. You don't take notes or participate in activities. If you seriously do not want to be here, just drop out." the professor folded his arms, staring at the other. Waiting for an reaction from the other, but he didn't expect the lifeless shrug from the younger. 

He didn't care.

"I guess, I should." Changkyun shrugs, and fixed the straps caging his shoulders. "Is that it?" he asks, and the professor shook his head. He was beyond speechless. He wants to say something, motivational or something cheesy to pick the younger up, but it seems as though the other have lost his own source of light. The flame was gone, and no one can't seem to light it back up.