Sinful Heart : Pride [Jookyun]

Sin 33

"Come here, Changkyun." his father have called out. His voice seemed far in the son's ears, and Changkyun didn't want to take a step forward. The constricting pain within his chest was worsening, and he could feel his own breaths becoming deep and heavy. He can't face her. He doesn't know her. His gaze dropped, his head hanging low as he bit back a choked out cry. A cry of protest. 

'Who are you?'

He wanted to scream out. It can not possibly be her time. But, she sat with white as though angel wings have surrounded her, ready to fly her off earth. It hurt. His own throat felt dry, and he couldn't say a word. Corruption of his own mind was causing him to break down, and Jooheon instantly went to his aid. A hand held onto his shoulder, pulling him close to one's self, hoping his own warmth could comfort the poor boy. 

Changkyun's mother's smile faded. Her perfect eyes have became dark, and Changkyun could never meet those dead eyes. He will be staring into the stone of a grave. She knew her own son have been impacted severely. She understood, but she could not imagine the fear and pain within his heart. Her own son was afraid of her. 

"Sorry," Jooheon softly apologized while he pushed the younger's head into his shoulder. Changkyun reached up tightly onto his chest, his grip tight. The blonde could hear his own lover's suffocated breaths, and he knew he needed time away. "Excuse us, please." Jooheon bowed his head in respect towards his parents, and his mother only nodded with a forced smile. "Please take your time, Changkyun..." her voice was a haunting in Changkyun's ears.

It didn't sound sweet. He doesn't know if it was his own mother. Her voice sounded tired, and broken. How come it became like this? Why was he gone for so long, and he only came back to something he could never fix? 

Everything felt numb, and everything became silent. Changkyun could only focus on his own breathing, the heavy, shallow breaths bringing him to an edge of tears. Jooheon have escorted him into the bathroom, while he held onto his lover. He felt less uncomfortable now he was away from the hound that haunted in the room. "Kyun, breathe with me, okay?" Jooheon whispered while he distanced himself only slightly, his hands massaging the younger's shoulders. 

The pain was unbearable, and it made him feel suffocated. Tears were starting to fall from his eyes, the hurricane of his own anguish was caging him into a fit of tears. The stars that Jooheon wanted to keep have been destroyed, only becoming transparent star dust. It hurt Jooheon by the sight.

"Listen to me. Only me," Jooheon assured the younger with a soft tone. Breathing with him, and Changkyun was soon catching on. He whimpered while he held up his arm, burying his face into his sleeve. His cries starting to escape his own lips, sounding choked as though a chain was tightly around his neck. The blonde softly spoke to him of sweet nothing, rubbing his back while the younger sobbed. Pressing against the blonde, he hid his face into the other's shoulder, his own shoulders trembling along with his cries. 

"W-Why her..." 

"I-It's not h-her time..." 

"I-I d-don't remember w-what she looks l-like..." 

"W-We finally f-fucking reunited a-and s-shes fucking d-dying?!"

"I-I thought I-I can f-fix this..."

"H-How can I w-when she is d-disappearing..."

"I-It's not f-fucking fair!"

"T-this b-bullshit.. S-She doesn't deserve it..." 

"S-So fucking l-late..."

His choked out frustration was released between his cries. Jooheon only listened, he can not say anything. Condolences will not help him. The blonde only listened, and did his very best to comfort him through actions. Changkyun didn't complain about the blonde's support, but the unfairness of the whole situation. He had no control whatsoever, and he can not bring the fact that he will lose his mother any moment. His faint memories of his own mother becoming something from the past that he can only remember as bitter, than cherished ones.