Belong to You

Chapter 37

Janae

"Dave" I stopped at the front desk at the lobby.

He had convinced me to get dressed and go out, we were just going to walk around our neighborhood. So I didn't have to worry about being in a car or anything remotely close to what happened.

"Ma?" He turned around and faced me.

He walked back to where I was, he placed his hands on my waist and looked down at me.

"You doing good Jay, let's at least make it out front" he smiled.

"I feel like I'm gonna get sick"

"No, mind over matter" he grabbed my hand.

"I'm trying"

"Breathe ma"

We walked outside and the crisp spring air hit me. We were entering May and the mornings were fairly warm. We stood in front for a minute, letting me get use to being out again.

"How are you feeling?" He looked over to me.

"Okay" I looked around.

"Okay, so will you be cool with walking to the park?" He asked me.

"I'll try"

"That's what I'm talking about" he smiled.

We began to walk, living on the upper Eastside I had forgotten how nice our neighborhood was or did I just become so accustomed to walking in and out of this apartment building everyday like a zombie.

"How you feeling?" We stopped at the cross walk.

"Fine"

"I was thinking about something" he looked over to me.

"What?"

"Would you like to go to the shooting range with me?"

"What?"

"I know you said your father taught you but I wasn't too sure how recent"

"I haven't gone since I was a freshmen or sophomore in college" I shook my head.

"Would you like to go? I never thought about taking you before. I knew you didn't like none of this so I never brought it up. But I think you should become reacquainted"

"I don't know Dave"

"I want to build your confidence back up. Trust me nothing will excite me more to watch this nigga die a slow death"

I cringed.

"But I need you to feel comfortable to walk around and about again. With or without Easton, me or anyone else"

"Do you know when you plan on seeing him?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Frank and I haven't discussed it yet but Frank knows about the threats. The whole goddamn organization knows" he sighed in frustration.

"I'm sorry" I said feeling guilty I put myself on the map as a target.

"Listen to me" he stopped walked and made me  face him

"You have nothing to be sorry about, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I put you and my kids in harms way. I'm sorry I never told you from jump. I'm paying for all this shit now. Seeing you hit a low was never what I imagined to come from all this. I wanted to give you a stress free life,  a never have to work a day in your life, kind of life. But I bit off more than I could chew."

He looked at me like he was about to get emotional but held it together. He was angry and mainly at himself. I was angry, angry at myself for not listening to him, this one time.