Belong to You

Chapter 47

Janae

Dave and I sat on the floor with our therapist, who had us facing one another. As we both looked at one another, our therapist Ann spoke.

"David ?"

"Mhmm"

"I want you to tell Jay how she makes you feel. How you felt when she decided to move out."

Dave let out a deep sigh, it was tough for him to open up but he was trying. He knew we needed this. He needed this.

"I felt heart broken. It broke me, it made me angry and sad at the same damn time. She made me"

"No Dave, tell her" Dr. Ann corrected him.

Dave paused.

"You made me feel like shit, like I wasn't shit to you. Like what we had and shared didn't mean nothing to you. I was afraid of losing you to someone else who would have their shit together and could protect you in a way I wasn't too sure of at the moment."

"You always make me feel loved, you're thoughtful and very generous with your love." He continued.

"That's good Dave, let's explore that. How is Jay generous with you?"

"You make sure me and baby boy are well taken care of before you take care of your needs. Even with knowing I had a daughter beforehand, I'll never forget the one time I picked you up from work in the early stages of me pursuing you" he laughed at himself.

"We went out for tacos and I had Kai with me and you made sure to feed Kai before we ate and got situated. And I remember that opening my eyes like yo she a real one"

I had completely forgot about that night. Most of the beginning had become a blur because we had started over and took things slow.

"Good David" Dr.Ann encouraged him.

"Jay, how does that make you feel? To hear David say all those things?"

"It makes me feel sad and good, if that makes sense" I looked at him.

"Explore that Jay"

"I never wanted you to feel like shit but I was angry and I wanted you to understand how angry I was. The only way I could get your attention was to leave. Leaving you hurt me too. I know it didn't feel like it but it did. I didn't know how to get through to you." I admitted.

"Why did you leave Jay?" Dr. Ann asked.

I took a moment to breath before I spoke.

"Because I felt betrayed and lied to. If I'm suppose to be your partner, I need to be in the know. Once the lies turned into my safety and the safety of our son being jeopardized, I didn't see nothing but red."

"David do you understand what she's saying ?"

Dave nodded his head yes.

"Continue Jay"

"I knew what you were into but I naively thought with the birth of our son, we would be more open to one another about what was going on. I want to work on trusting you fully and not having to second guess you or your movements. I just hope you could do the same." I smiled a little.

Dave gave me a small smile too.

"Okay, so for this week, I want you two to make a list of 10 things that you could improve on when it comes to being a "better"girlfriend or boyfriend".

"This will be a reflective project so no comparing notes but really sit with yourself and ask yourself what it is you need to to help yourself reach those goals."