Lilly - It's been about a month since I got out of the hospital and honestly i feel so much better. I'm going to start going to a therapist soon and I think that's going to help me. I'm currently working on a video about why I've been gone and i hope that it will clear some stuff up.
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Lilliana: workin on a video ask me some questions for it Jakewebber9: text me/ do u love me? Lillysbiggestfan: what are you and Jake? User89p: if you don't mind, why have you been gone Fan8: how old are you/ why did you start yOuTuBe User89p: fav color? Zane: when you coming to see us baby WE MISS YOU Heathhussar: @zane ^^ Lillysbiggestfan: do you vape/ smoke weed? Lilly_facts: have you had any jobs ? Jenni_fer: make up or skincare routine??
————————— "Hey it's me, Lilly" I said into my camera. "So uh today I'm doing a q&a I tweeted earlier and posted some shit on Instagram to ask me some questions so uh yeah let's get into that." I paused and pulled my phone out. "let's start with some on Instagram. Jakewebber9 oh hey jakey 'do u love me'. Yes I do with all my heart too" I smiled at the camera "alright next one lillysbiggestfan asked 'what are you and Jake's girl I know as much as you do that boy is confusing as fuck ALRIGHT NEXT ONE fan8 'how old are you and why did you start youtube' im twenty, and I started YouTube because if my best friend Devyn Lundy. She's the one to convince me and even helped me get to where i am today. Big thanks to you boo I love you" I took a deep breath and continued on "user89p asked ' favorite color' definitely purple. Ooh Zane asked 'when are you going to come see us' uh soon we can hangout this week I guess" I said shrugging. "alright again lillysbiggestfan asked 'do you vape or smoke weed'. Yes. Jenni_fer asked ' makeup or skincare routine' uh yeah I'll make one if that's something you guys will be interested in." I answered a lot more questions and finally got to the one I kinda dreaded "okay so a lot of people, well more like all of you have been asking where I've been for the past month and a half. Let me start at the beginning." I took a loooong breath in and started. "So when I was fourteen so around six years ago my little sister Olivia was diagnosed with lung cancer, so she must have been like six or seven at the time. She was in and out if the hospital for about a year before they thought they got rid of it all. Uh during all of that i got well developed depression uh so yeah. Well we found out that the cancer was back and so that's why I went back to Ohio. To see her. She's okay at the moment she had her surgery and it went pretty well. So after that we came back home. And i don't really care if Jake doesn't want this out here it's my story so. My ex um fuck him I'm not even going to say his name came back to see me for some odd fucking reason. He argued with me for a minute before kissing me. Which Jake saw. Jake left and wouldn't talk to any of us. I texted Colby and he said everything would be okay. I mean it wasn't. I guess I just sorta just snapped. I didn't know what I was doing but I guess I swallowed like eight things of random ass pills i found. I slit my wrists and some of my thighs." I pulled my sleeves up and showed the scars on my wrists. "Uh that's pretty much it. I-i don't really have any other explanation but yeah I hope you guys enjoyed this looong overdue q&a and if you have any other questions just ask in yhe comments I guess, bye" I said happily. I sighed and turned the camera off. I checked my phone and saw that it was only noon. I decided bow was the time to edit and got on with it.
When I was done it was about four. I uploaded the video and sat around going through my explore page. I got a text from Jake asking if I wanted to hangout *Text* Lilly-pad 🐸: yeah sure u just gonna come over?
Jakey : yep I'll be over soon
Lilly-pad 🐸: alright just come in *End text*
I sat on the couch playing music waiting for Jake. I heard the front door open a little while later and Jake's footsteps leading into the living room. I smiled up at him and patted the spot next to me. He sat down and put his head on my chest. "pay attention to me" he whined looking up at me. I glanced down at him and smiled. He was so adorable. I set my phone aside and grabbed his cheeks and squished them "hey" he pouted. I brought his face up to mine and gave him a little kiss. He smiled and leaned in for another one. I backed away causing him to frown a little bit. "I want another one" "Fine". He smiled and kissed me again. This one was a little bit longer. "happy now Jake?" "Nope" he said kissing me again. I giggled and gave him a hug. He sat back on the couch and pulled me on top oh him. He put his hands on my hips and started saying "so uh about that date we talked about want to do that this weekend?" "Yeah, of course" I smiled "Good" he said planting more kisses on my lips. "good" he repeated.
Sorry this is baaaaaad but oh well. Also very very very unedited. I kind of fan-girled while watching ten things I hate about you (because Heath Ledger) and deleted this whole fucking chapter.
