When I'm falling to pieces

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"No! NO! STOP!" I screamed. I looked around seeing nothing around me. I sat up in shock realizing that I had been dreaming. I reached over to my nightstand and checked my phone. "Four thirty" I muttered to myself. I haven't been sleeping well since Jake and I broke up. It's been about a week and we I still haven't talked to him. 
    Oddly, I felt guilty. I just wanted us to be happy again but I wasn't putting in any effort to do so. I loved him with all of my heart but yet, something was keeping me from doing it. 
    Eventually I gave in and said 'fuck it' before I even realized what I was doing I had my phone up to my ear and waiting for him to answer. "Hello?" He asked in a husky voice. I must have just woken him up 'it's four thirty in the fucking morning, Lilly' I thought to myself "Uh hey Jake it's Lilly"
"Lilly?" He paused "What do you need?" 
"Come over" I said quickly 
"What?" 
"Come over. Please"
"Um I- I'll be over in a couple minutes" 
"I'll leave the door unlocked" 
"Okay bye I lo-" he paused before quickly saying "Bye" again. 
    My heart started beating rapidly as what I had just done started sinking in. What the fuck was I thinking? Why did I tell him to come over? I took a deep breath and went to unlock the front door. I walked back into my bedroom and sat down waiting for Jake. 
    True to his word he was there a few minutes later. I heard him walking towards my room and turned to face him when he opened the door. As soon as we looked at each other we walked towards the other quickly. Before I knew it my lips were back on his and I was pushed up against the door. 
    The kiss was rough and passionate and pretty soon his arms were underneath me and lifting me up. "Fuck" he growled in my ear as I started kissing down his jaw. He grabbed my mouth and pulled me back up to his lips. Jake walked us over to my bed and put me down before quickly following. I lifted his shirt over his head in a quick motion as he did mine. I rolled us over so I was on top and went down to his jeans. I pulled them off then went back up to kiss him. I slowly made my way down his torso leaving small hickeys before teasingly pulling his on the waistband of his boxers. "Don't tease" He growled. I rolled my eyes and slid them off before taking him in my mouth. He let out a small moan which caused me to start bobbing my head up and down. 
    Soon he was pulling my back up to him and started taking my shorts off. He laid me on the bed and said in a raspy voice "Are you sure?"  I nodded my head in response and watched as he thrust into me. I let out a moan of pleasure and grabbed Jake's back. 
    My nails dug into his back as he thrust one more time. I let out another moan as waves of pleasure rocked my body. I smiled up at Jake and pulled my self off of him. 
    We lay on my bed panting and looking up at the ceiling. I could tell neither of us knew what to say so we sat in silence. 


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