Peter Parker oneshots :)

Gordon Ramsay

Requested by KatieCro :) 

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Peter hummed, tugging his mask over his face. Gordon Ramsay was supposed to be coming to the tower again for the third cooking lesson so far. 

He skipped out from his room, then stopped, and walked backwards several steps, looking at Vision, who stood extremely straight, a lamp shade on his head. 

"Uncle Vision? What are you doing?" 

"I'm not Uncle Vision, I'm a lamp." 

Peter blinked him for a few seconds, rather confused as to why Vision was currently a lamp. 

"Why are you a lamp?" 

"Because Chef Ramsay is coming today. Do you not remember last lesson?" 

"How the f*ck did you manage to set the bloody mixer on fire?!" 

Peter's face relaxed with understanding. Vision was definitely not a good cook, though neither was anyone in the tower, for that matter, with the exception of Wanda, Pepper, Steve, kind of Bucky (depending on the day, the weather patterns and if anyone in close proximity is wearing pink) or Natasha, though that was only when it was Russian foods. 

The worst in the tower was definitely Tony and Vision, and Peter wasn't far ahead, though he got his cooking skills from Aunt May, and the lessons were definitely helping. 

"He's not that bad," Peter said, though he could still hear Gordon screaming at Tony for breaking the egg yolk when making a fried egg. They hadn't filmed the other two cooking sessions, though Peter was pretty sure they were supposed to be live streaming this one, just for fun. 

"He is that bad," Vision told him, shuddering. "If I can camouflage with my surroundings, perhaps I won't have to join in..." 

Peter raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything, for Vision stood out like a fluro yellow cat in a room of dogs. 

"Suit yourself," he said, shrugging. "I think it's kind of fun." 

"He's nice to you," Vision told him. "Because you're only young. Didn't he give you a gummy bear last time?" 

Peter nodded- that was true, everytime he did something wrong the chef would help him fix it, and tell him what to do next time to prevent making the mistake. Meanwhile, everytime any of the adults made a mistake, a string of curse words would be yelled at them, heard by Peter despite Steve attempting to cover his ears every time. Did he forget he had super hearing? 

"Well, good luck, I think he's here." Peter told him, then skipped away again, humming a tune quietly and watching as Tony frowned, reading the back of the cooking supplies. They had gone shopping earlier that morning for more cooking supplies, which had been rather chaotic- Thor had disappeared the moment they arrived and came back with armfuls of pop tarts. 

Steve's reaction had of course been-

"Thor no." 

"Thor yes." Thor had replied, dumping them all into the trolley, on top of the jars of pasta sauce and a watermelon Peter had managed to sneak into the trolley without Tony or Steve noticing. Bucky had grabbed at least twenty plums, and Natasha started eating dry pasta randomly, the loud crunch making other shoppers turn to look at them. 

Clint and Sam raced up and down the aisles in shopping trolleys, (which was of course filmed by Peter) despite Steve trying to quietly hiss at them to stop. Wanda was showing Vision the names of the spices.

"This one is paprika, that one was chilli powder before." 

"Ohhhhh, and this one is cinnamon?"