Hamilton Soccer Moms AU

The Hoverboard

A/N: Double update this weekend!!! cuz I love y'all!!!

"Do I have to go to school? Like what's it even for?" Philip asked, basically falling asleep in his cereal. 

"If you don't go to school then you don't get a job. If you don't get a job, you don't have money. If you don't have money, you can't buy a house. If you can't buy a house, then you're homeless. If you're homeless-" Angelica explained before being cut off by Philip.

"Nevermind," he groaned. "Wait, but what if I just join a wolf pack?" Philip got on all fours and started howling around the house. Chicken Nugget attacked him with licks.

"You're not a wolf," Angelica pointed out.

"I'll just disguise myself," Philip planned. "Ahwoooooooo!"

"They could maul you to death," Angelica added.

"Nevermind then." Philip got up off the floor and returned to his cereal. "How about I just become a third-grade dropout and live here in the basement?"

"It's scary down there." Angelica looked at the basement door and shuddered.

"You're right, too many rats," Philip realized. "What about-"

"Just going to school?" Angelica suggested.

"The whole point of these hypothetical situations is to escape school, idiot," Philip said with a roll of his eyes.

"Mom! Philip called Angelica an idiot," Alexander Jr. tattled.

"Snitch," Philip hissed at him.

"And he called me a snitch!"

"Philip," Eliza warned from the kitchen, "if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all."

"Goodness Eliza, you sound like Burr," Alexander commented as he walked down the stairs. "Always telling people to shut up."

"Mom! Dad said shut up," Alexander Jr. reported.

"Alexander, language," Eliza chided while handing him his coffee.

"Snitch," Alexander muttered under his breath.

"Tell me about it," Philip said, collapsing onto the table in exasperation. 

"Alright, everyone time for school," Eliza ordered.

"I'm a wolf, do I have to go to school?" Philip asked hopefully.

"Yep," Eliza said.

"I'm mortified, do I have to go to work?" Alexander asked. 

"Yep."

"Can you please at least take off this handcuff? It makes such a loud noise," Alex begged. 

"No can do sir," Eliza answered with a smirk.

"Then you only leave me with one option."

"And that is?" Eliza questioned.

"The hoverboard." Alexander ran off to his office and returned in on a hoverboard, almost running over Chicken Nugget in the process. But the handcuff wasn't making any noise on the hoverboard.

"Where did you even get that?" Eliza asked.

"A garage sale, it was only fifteen dollars," he informed them.

"So that means it's either possessed, broken or gonna blow up," Angelica concluded. 

"How could a hoverboard be possessed?" Philip wondered.

"The ghost in it could go like vroooom and run you over," Alexander Jr. said with a strange delight.

"All right then." Philip turned back to eating his cereal.