Hamilton Soccer Moms AU

Vacation (kinda) Part 2.5 + Delta Airlines

Theo ran over to where Philip sat in the sand, watching his father and Jefferson fight, somewhat amused by the situation. 

Theo poked him on the shoulder. "Wanna play?"

Philip turned around to face her. "Sure, what do you want to play?"

"Well... how about we chase seagulls?" Theo suggested.

Philip's eyes lit up. "Okay!" As they surveyed the beach for the perfect group of seagulls to terrorize, Philip said, "Did you know a group of seagulls is called a colony?"

"Really? That's an absolutely useless piece of information," Theo replied cruelly.

"Ouch. What if you were a birdologist?" Philip offered. 

"Okay then maybe it's useful but I'm not- LOOK!" Theo suddenly interrupted herself, causing Philip to jump. She pointed at some seagulls gathered on the sand. "It's the perfect colony of seagulls to annoy!"

 The two charged at the group of seagulls who were gorging on Cheetos someone left scattered on the beach. The seagulls took to the air to escape the wrath of the children only to land a few feet away. They continued to swallow Cheetos whole just in a new location.

"That wasn't very successful," Philip observed.

"Yeah... I know! You go in from over there and I'll run in from here," Theo planned, pointing to the other side of the seagulls. Philip did as she said. Theo held three fingers up to signal when they should stampede the seagulls. And stampede they did.

The seagulls skawacked angrily as they flew away to another beach, irritated at having another meal ruined by small humans. "We've done our duty," Philip said as they watched the seagulls fly into the distance.

"Philip!" Alexander called. "Pack your bags. We're leaving!"

"Uh, bye Theo, I guess." Philip ran off to his father with a shrug. Their vacation wasn't supposed to end for another two days. 

"Why are we leaving early?" Philip asked as he struggled to keep up with Alexander.

When Alexander didn't answer, Eliza responded for him, "He got kicked off the island."

"That's not true! We're leaving because all my meetings are over so we have no reason to stay here any longer."

"But the booklet says that we were supposed to stay-" Angelica pointed out.

"Who cares what the booklet says!?" Alexander snapped. "No one followed it anyways. Why start now?"

"Daddy mad," James Alexander whispered to Eliza who nodded in agreement.

"He's salty because Jefferson got him kicked off," she whispered back.

"I can hear you whispering! Besides, it's better that we leave today anyways because everyone else is leaving."

"So you're telling me you want to fly on the same plane as Thomas and Burr and James for eleven hours?" Eliza challenged.

"I'm booking a bus home."

"We're on an island," Angelica said.

"Then we'll take the magic school bus!" Alexander replied, too enraged at the current situation to come up with a logical response. Philip and Alexander Jr. burst out in the magic school bus theme song.

~On the trip home~

"Are you serious?" Alexander said as their uber driver, Niccola, dropped them off in front of their airport.

"What's wrong this time?" Eliza asked.

"Eliza, do you not see where we are?"

"An.. airport?" Eliza answered, confused as to why that would upset him.

"Not just any old airport. This is Delta Airlines," Alexander said with almost as much disgust as he would say Jefferson's name.

"And...?" Eliza asked as she grabbed her suitcase from the back of the uber. 

"Delta Airlines is the worst possible airline that you could ever fly on. I would rather be duct-taped to the wing of a JetBlue airplane than fly on a Delta-" Alexander was about to continue ranting when the Jefferson's uber pulled up and Thomas interrupted.

"Ah, Delta Airlines, my favorite."

"Oh, I'll make sure it's not your favorite," Alexander growled. 

Before he could explode on Thomas, Eliza said, "Come on, hun. Let's go find baggage check-in."

Alexander begrudgingly followed after her. Everyone safely made it through security except Philip who had craft scissors in his pocket for the hat revolution. As they boarded the plane, Alexander stopped to talk to the ticket collector.

"Excuse me miss. I had a question about my seat."

The stewardess turned around and glared at him. "And what might that be?"

"I was wondering if I could change my seat. You see-"

"There's no open seats," she interrupted. 

"But my cousin over there, the one with the afro," Alexander said, pointing at Thomas. "You see he's absolutely terrified of flying and he needs me to sit behind him as a form of comfort."

The ticket collector glanced at a completely calm Thomas and then looked back at Alexander, unconvinced. "Sorry, sir. Guess your cousin is gonna have to learn to cope."

"Don't be surprised when Delta Airlines has 50 new bad Yelp reviews with your name included in them," he looked at her nametag and spat, "Jessica."

Jessica just looked bored. "Next!" she called.

Alexander boarded the plane and smirked as he realized that his seat was directly behind Thomas' and he didn't even need Jessica to do it for him. Everyone boarded with little issue and the plane took off. That's when Alexander decided to start his reign of terror.

Step one: steal all the peanuts. The flight attendant came from the back of the plane to the front with her cart of peanuts. "Would you like some peanuts, sir?" she asked.

"Could I have fifty bags, please."

Both the flight attendant and Eliza gave him a strange look. "Um, well, we only have enough for every passenger..."

"Listen here flight attendant lady, I've been malnourished for the past five days. I've had to fight off three live Hawaiian bears with my own bare hands and surviving purely on one pack of gummy bears. It's been a struggle," he lied as a lone tear trickled down his cheek. He fake sniffled and wiped it away. "But I've made it through and now I need peanuts."

The flight attendant looked at him with a worried expression before digging all the peanuts out of the cart and placing them on his tray. Without another word, she swiftly wheeled the cart back to the back of the plane.

"You should consider a job in acting because that was quite the performance," Eliza said without glancing up from her book. Alexander only responded with a grin. And that grin only widened as he heard Jefferson complain about the lack of peanuts on the plan.

Step two: kick Jefferson's seat. And kick it he did until he got moved to another seat for disrupting the peace.

Step three: spoil the movie on the little TVs. Luckily this one was easy because it was one of those romance movies where both of the lovers are terminally ill so one of them is bound to die. The only problem was figuring out which one it was. So naturally, Alexander went on themoviespoiler.com and emailed the link to Thomas. The fact that he had seen it was confirmed when Thomas responded with a bunch of not very kind emojis.

The final step: spamming Thomas, James, and Burr with emails and texts until they promised to leave bad reviews on Delta's Yelp page. Overall, it was an all-out blast of an eleven hour trip for Alexander's co-workers.