The Day We Met

Chapter 39

Don't think about it. Don't think about it!

It's your fault. It's your fault this happened.

And there's nothing you can do to change this.

You shouldn't be here.

You shouldn't be alive.

You're a disgrace.

Why? I ask myself as i'm in bed the night of the incident. I cry and cry and cry, but it won't go away. Have you ever cried so damn hard that your heart hurts? That's me right now. Every single time I think of Edward, I cry like that. I don't think of Edward and not cry. It's impossible right now. I stare at the dark ceiling, and turn over to see my clock. It's 11:30 pm. I've been crying for hours. I got in my bed at 9:00.

I turn to face into my pillow and moan into it. But I moan quietly. I don't want my parents to come in. I don't want to talk to them. They know what happened today, but they don't seem like they would leave me alone. I don't want to talk to anyone. Not just because I'm sad, but I'll have to tell them about Edward, and I don't think they know a damn thing about me and him.

I take a deep breath, in and out. I close my eyes and fall into what is called sleep.

********

I put the keys into the ignition and start the drive to Aria's house. I wanted to see her and Radrika least once before the school year is over. I don't want to go to college. Well, I do, but I don't want to leave this place. I can't believe it's been two weeks since what happened. You know what I'm talking about.

A silent ride it was to Aria's house. Although I was alone, it was still quiet. I usually listen to music. I tried doing that, but all the songs that came up were Perfect by One Direction, Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots, We Don't Talk Anymore by Charlie Puth, and my favorite, Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars. When that song played, my heart skipped a few beats. I turned the radio off. I thought of the limo ride to prom. Then that made me think of Thomas. Him and his comments about Radrika. But those days are over. The good times are over. Not the Thomas and Radrika part. But the parts when my heart stopped when I was with Edward. When I was. Where we are now in our relationship, it's heartbreaking. I'll probably never ever see him again. But I will. When I'm dead.

I pull up to Aria's driveway and wipe away the tears. I look into the rear view mirror to see how I look. It doesn't matter. I'm not gonna see Edward anyway. I pull the keys out of the ignition and step out of the car.

"Hey." Radrika quietly and sadly says. She has her hands in her pockets and takes them out to give me a hug. I walk faster, then into her arms. My breathing gets off. What I mean is, I'm not breathing normal anymore. My body starts to tremble.

"Hey. It's ok." She pats my back. "As long as we're here together, it's ok. Right?" We separate from the hug and I see Aria behind Radrika.

"As long as we are." I stick my arms out for another hug.

"Group hug." Aria says. We're all wrapped together like a present. I'm glad I have these friends. And I'm glad I'm right here, right now.

"I know where he is." Radrika whispers. What? Who is she talking about? I break the hug.

"Who's he?" My heart starts racing.

"Edward." I gasp and put my hand over my heart. Could it be? Could I see him again? I can't believe it.

"H-h-how do you know?" I ask with a dash of excitement.

"Kyle told me about him." Kyle? Who's Kyle? Oh yeah! Radrika went to prom with him and they were making out! Now I remember! "He said he saw Edward the other day."