karla jenner [a kardashian/jenner fanfic]

Chapter 18

Karla leant up against the window in her mom's car as she came from her sixth therapy session from this week. She knew this was part of the conditions of her discharge, but seriously? A therapy session every single day? There was nothing more to say after her second, and, despite her having an in-depth and detailed list on her phone of every single thing that she had to hate about life, she didn't want to get into all that and still didn't believe that telling this old lady therapist would actually help her. At the end of the day, she's always gonna be Karla Jenner - the insanely (and kind of worryingly) closed off girl.

Kris looked over at her daughter and sighed sadly, not noticing any positive changes in Karla's mood for the week she had been home. She didn't know how she could ever help Karla when the girl just seemed to have given up on herself. Karla wasn't ever snappy or moody with any of them; she just kind of sat there - replying in a quiet voice and smiling sadly when it was due. It was harder for the family to see than when she was visibly angry with them.

"Do you wanna stop somewhere and get some food?" Kris asked her daughter, placing her hand on her knee to get her attention, "You can pick where."

Karla looked over to her mom briefly, before sighing and saying, "I don't really want to get out anywhere, but if you want to then we can."

"How about we just order something then?" Kris suggested, "We can go home and put on our pyjamas and watch a movie whilst eating. How does that sound?"

Karla nodded, a small smile on her lips, "Yeah, mom, that sounds nice."

Kris smiled to herself, feeling like she was getting somewhere with her daughter. This last week Kris has spent more time with Karla than she had for a very very long time. She enjoyed spending the time with her youngest, but was increasingly worried with her daughter. Someone once told her that the time Karla stopped fighting would be the point of rock bottom and the way in which people fought for her would be the most vital in these moments. Karla had hit rock bottom.

***

Kris left Karla asleep on the couch with a soft sigh. She hadn't really spoken at all for the few hours they had spent together and only toyed around with the food they had gotten. Her silence was deafening and Kris was terrified.

The front door opened and a soft 'hello' was called out, Kris instantly recognising the voice as Kendall's and walked in her direction, not wanting Kendall to wake Karla up.

"Hey, honey." Kris greeted, "Karla's asleep in the lounge so shall we come through to the kitchen?"

Kendall nodded, following her mom through the hallway, "Ah, okay. Did she say how therapy went?"

"Well she never really says much about it. I don't think she really opens up to to Linda." Kris told her, "Perhaps if it were someone a bit younger then Karla would be able to connect with her a bit better. What do you think?"

Kendall shrugged slightly, not really paying attention to Kris' words as she looked back in the direction of where she knew her sister was resting.

When Kendall didn't reply, Kris continued, "Kim told me that Kanye had connections with some really great doctors who could see Karla soon. For different types of therapies, like CBT. I heard that the success rate for them was actually quite-"

"-Mom." Kendall interrupted, making Kris look over to her daughter who had tears in her eyes that were starting to fall, "I'm really really scared."

"Oh, honey." Kris said, leaving her seat and going over to Kendall to put her arm around her.

Kendall let out a cry and wiped her eye, "She just isn't getting any better. I look at her and she just looks so lost and confused and ghostly. Karla doesn't want to live, mom, and I'm so scared that one day I'm gonna wake up and Karla isn't going to be around anymore. I'm terrified."

Kris wiped under her eyes and sighed, "I know how you feel. I can't sleep at night because I'm so scared something's going to happen while I'm asleep. If anything happens to her, I would never forgive myself. I should've been a better mother - I just can't believe that I let it all get this far."

"It's not your fault."

Kendall and Kris' attention was brought over to the doorway where a tired looking Karla could be found. She had clearly listened into the conversation, and when they calmed down from their surprised intrusion, they wiped their tears and stood up.

"I'm sorry?" Kris questioned.

"It's not your fault. I'm not this depressed because of you. Some people are just destined to be sad." Karla told them, "I just have to accept that I'm never gonna be that happy in life. Nothing any of you have done or have said have really come into play with how I feel."

As fulfilling as it was to hear Karla's words that were given to try to alleviate the guilt that her family felt, it was hard for Kendall and Kris to actually believe her. Karla had told them time and time again how much she resented her family for their lifestyle and how Karla felt trapped in a life path that her family had created for her, without her consent.

"Kar, you can be happy." Kendall told her, wiping her cheeks as the tears kept streaming, "Life won't always be like this, you can enjoy life again."

Karla slowly walked over to her family members with slight caution, "I've spent so many years hating myself and hating my life. I don't know if I'm capable of enjoying life like I should." She told them, "A part of me even wonders if I care to get better, or if I want to."

"Why would you even say that?" Kendall said, raising her voice through her tears, "Do you not realise how much you're hurting us? You're making us go crazy. Look at mom!" She yelled, gesturing to their mother who was watching on with a tearful expression, "She can't sleep, she's waiting outside your room at night in case you try to sneak out and do something stupid! We just want you to be okay, we want you to be happy. So don't you dare give up on yourself because you're hurting us and saying shit like that is so selfish."

Karla scoffed, "I'm so sorry that me being cripplingly depressed is such a fucking problem to you." She spat out, "Isn't it more selfish of you guys to keep me alive because you'll be 'upset' if I die? I'm living in absolute hell every single day!"

"It's not that you're a problem." Kendall said quietly, "I just don't think you realise how much all of this is hurting us all."

Karla shrugged, "Do you even want me to get better for myself?" She questioned, "Cause right now, all I'm hearing is that me being like this is just an inconvenience to you guys."

Not giving Kris or Kendall a chance to reply, Karla turned around and left the room swiftly. She ran up the stairs and into her room, closing the door behind her and sliding down, letting her tears stream out as she prayed for better days.

Word count: 1260

wow, so hey to anyone who still even knows this book still exists!! the last time i updated this was jan 6th 2019 so it has been a fat minute since i was last on here. happy new year guys! thank u for the support with this book :) x