Unsaid Things

You did this to me

Don't you understand how much this hurts me? Do you even care that you left him behind? I just don't understand why you can't realize how much everyone else cares and you don't. Every one asks why you don't care or why you don't try and I don't have anything to tell them. You're whole family cares so much and tries but you don't. You never have cared but why can't you care for him? He's yours. He looks like you, acts like you, and talks like you. Do you realize how hard this is for me? How much pain I have gone through just for him? I have spent so many sleepless nights with him because he was sick or couldn't sleep or was in pain when I had school the next day. I love him with all of my heart and you? You don't even say he's yours. At all. You deny it. I missed out on all of my high school because I decided to be a good parent and take care of him rather then go out and drink and party like you and your girlfriend. You think you're doing the right thing for him by staying away from him. But you're not. When he asks "where's my daddy?" what am I supposed to tell him? How am I supposed to keep my screams quiet at night because he sleep talks about wanting his dad. You have no idea how badly you hurt me and how badly you will hurt him. You are the worst person on the planet and I will forever hate you for leaving us behind and acting like it never happened. But you know what? I can't do that. Because even though you hurt me and you will hurt our child, you are your own person. You make your own choices and you have your own opinions. And I have to respect that... And I have respected it. I haven't ever came to you and begged you to come back. I haven't done anything. I have raised him all by myself without you being here to help me. I graduated from high school with a 3.4 GPA and am going to college. So you can talk trash on me all you want but I will always be better then you because you saw a challenge and ran. You saw a chance to be better then YOUR  father and you ran.