Unsaid Things

So you've been asking

                                          ***** Slightly sexual content at the bottom*****

A while back you asked me why I liked you so much ans this is the best way I know how to put it. 

"I fell in love with you because you weren't afraid to show me your imperfections. I fell in love with you because you weren't afraid to take risks or speak your mind. When I'm getting ready to give up on everything, you remind me that it will be ok because you are there for me. I fell in love with you because you're always supporting me even though I do some stupid things. You always check up on me and you're always making sure that I'm ok. And you always point out the good or the goofy in me when I'm having a bad day. I fell in love with you because you treat me with such a level of respect that I cannot even begin to explain. I fell in love with you because we are best friends. I fell in love with you because I can see myself with you for the rest of our lives." 

I had a dream about you last night, we were together again and we lived in a cute little house. We were sitting on the porch together and you looked at me and you said "I love you" and I said it back, then you said "I miss my angel, I wish I got to see her all the time." and then I said "I miss my best friend" then we snuggled up together and fell asleep. I wish that I got to spend time with you, I miss you so much... I want to be able to go pick you up from your house and go sit at the park with you again, or go driving around, or even lay in your room together. 

The comment you made yesterday made me think a little bit. And I haven't even admitted this to myself yet so don't go making fun of me for it. But that comment you made yesterday made me think of all of those kinds of thoughts I've had about you. Which is strange because I haven't ever thought about you in a sexual way before. Like I mean kissing and cuddling are different but I haven't ever thought about you in like a "I want you to push me against a wall and make out with me" kind of way. Or a "push me down onto the bed and take my clothes off" kind of way. You have no idea how hard it is to not say anything when you make a comment that's even remotely sexual. Like I want to say the things that I think but I also want to have respect for your relationship. I don't exactly have any grounds to make those comments. But the more they come up, the more I think about it. And I can't help the fact that I think about it but damn I get some wild ass thoughts about you sometimes and I can't tell you because, well like I said, I have no grounds to make those comments. 

~Unsaid things to my best friend