The Accident

Chapter 30

You startled awake the following morning. Unaware if it was a nightmare, or the cars honking that woke you up, you looked over to see Chris fast asleep next to you. Looking down you saw that you were still completely naked as you soon remembered the events that transpired the day before.

Lifting the covers off your nude body, you made your way into the bathroom. Turning on the light you had to cast your gaze downwards from the brightness. Once you relieved yourself of your morning duties, you decided to take a shower.

The hot water did wonders on your stressed out body and you soon found yourself dozing off, standing under the nozzle. It had been a long and tiring last couple of days ever since you regained your memories. You were unsure if you could make it through these memories; you barely survived the first time around. Your lips pressed tightly together and your chin dipped to your chest. Without a doubt you were disappointed, both in Chris, and with yourself.

It was such an angry emotion to feel, how Chris never told you what happened to your mother. But you were also disappointed in yourself for even remotely thinking about how you missed your relationship with Sebastian.

You began to get light headed from all the heat in the shower, and not eating anything for over 24 hours. Turning the shower off, you opened the door and felt an immediate burst of cold air. With your body covered in goosebumps you quickly grabbed the large fluffy towel robe that hung on the door. Wrapping yourself in it, you felt yourself smile at the comfort you felt.

Taking your hand, you wiped off the mist from the mirror and took a good look at yourself. Your hair hung heavily around your shoulders from the weight of the water; you looked tired. With a deep sigh you walked to the door and opened it.

There, you saw Chris sitting, now fully clothed in pajama pants and a black t-shirt, sitting on the bed. "You're up," you uttered softly.

He scratched the back of his head as he responded. "Yeah, I ahh....I heard you get up to go to the bathroom and decided to order us some breakfast. It will be here any minute."

There was a fluttering in your stomach and you weren't sure if it was from the affection of Chris ordering you breakfast, or nerves from the conversation you knew the two of you were going to have.

It felt as if there was a bit uncertainty in the air, but that was washed away as Chris patted the spot on the bed next to him. Shuffling your feet over, you sat down beside him. He placed a hand to your back and rubbed up and down; soothing your anxiety.

There was a knock on the door and Chris got up to answer it. Sure enough, it was your breakfast and your stomach chose that moment to begin to rumble.

Getting up from the bed you made your way to the small table and made yourself comfortable. You heard Chris say a quick 'thank you' to the person who brought the food up and before you knew it, he was wheeling the small cart over to the table.

"Smells delicious," you said, your mouth beginning to water. Chris lifted the lids off the plates and your eyes grew wide at the sight of all the food.

"I figured I would order a bit of everything. I wasn't sure what you were in the mood for."

"This is perfect Chris. Thank you," you said while giving him a warm smile.

You began to dish your plate full of scrambled eggs, bacon, waffles and toast while Chris dished his own plate. Breakfast was, for the most part, a silent affair. The two of you too busy eating to discuss the events of the last few days.

As you soon became full from breakfast, you pushed your plate to the side and took a sip of your orange juice. Chris continued to eat and you anxiously bounced your leg up and down underneath the table. He didn't seem to notice your anxiousness and you were grateful for that.

Before long, Chris was also finished with his food. He wiped his mouth before sitting back in a relaxed position in his chair. You looked into his baby blue eyes and your heart began to pound in your chest erratically.

"So," Chris began to speak, "how are you doing...with regaining your memories and all." Letting out a deep sigh, you turned your gaze to your hands resting in your lap. Not even knowing what to say, you gave him a shrug. "Come on babe, talk to me."

You felt your chin begin to quiver and that was all it took for Chris to get up from his chair and make his way over to you. He bent down on his knees in front of you, turning your body so you were facing him as he gripped you into his arms.

He let you cry into him and you were appreciative. The anguish and uncertainty you were feeling soon washed away as Chris kept his tight hold on you. You were now feeling nothing but sympathy; for the man you loved so dearly; for everything you had put him through.

Chris put so much of his life on hold to help you get back on track after your mothers' death, your miscarriage, suicide attempt, and leaving Sebastian, that you couldn't comprehend if he even wanted to go through all that again with you.

"Hey," his soothing voice broke through your thoughts; you didn't even realize he had pulled apart from you. "Erica, talk to me sweetheart. Let me in." Chris brushed the tears from under your eyes with his thumbs. He was gentle, just what you needed.

Shaking your head, you tore your gaze from him and down to the floor. "I don't want you to have to go through all of this again with me Chris. You deserve better. You deserve to live your life...and...and not have to deal with me and this mess." It felt as if someone was squeezing your heart as you spoke those words to Chris. You clearly didn't want to break up with him; you loved him, so much. But you didn't want to put him through all this trouble for a second time; it just wasn't fair to him.

Chris leaned back on his heels as you fought to not look at his gaze. You could feel his eyes penetrating your soul but you were too terrified to look at him. He didn't say anything. The only noise was the hum of the air conditioning. Although, you thought your heart was beating so fast, that Chris would possibly be able to hear it.

You felt a soft grip on your knees as you made the sacrifice to look up and right into Chris' blue eyes. All the air left your lungs as you saw the tender way he was gazing at you. "Erica," his voice was nearly a whisper as he spoke. He gently tugged the left sleeve of the robe up your arm and you winced at what you saw. The small crescent shape cuts on your wrist made by your own nails just the other day. Chris leaned down, peppering soft kisses to each cut as another tear rolled down your cheek.

"Chris," your voice echoed his as you sniffled back your tears.

As his lips stopped with their gentle touch against your wrist, his eyes met yours. You instantly got lost in the ocean blue of them; your heart fluttering at a rapid pace. "Erica," Chris softly said your name yet again as his thumbs caressed your cheeks, wiping your tears away. "I don't want you to have to worry about any of that alright? When this first happened to you, Sebastian tried everything in his power to help you out. But for some damn reason you wouldn't listen to him," he said as you winced at the memory. "Then you broke up with him and there I was....to help pick up the pieces. I honestly don't know what I did any different than him, but you listened to me. We worked through your problems together Erica, and we made it work."

By now your tears were cascaded down your cheeks like a waterfall, but Chris was there to catch them with his thumbs. Your heart was pounding in your chest with how delicate he was treating you in this moment. "But Chris,....." you started to say but he cut you off.

"No Erica, please listen to me. Nothing you say is going to change my mind baby. Nothing you say is going to make me walk away from this relationship. I love you." At those three little words, your heart nearly stopped. It was the first time since you had regained your memories those words were spoken. "I love you so much Erica and I will do anything to help you through this again. If that means I don't do a film for two years, then so be it. If it means I don't work another day for the rest of my life, then I will do that too. You are the most important person to me in my entire life, and I will help you through this again, no matter what it takes."