Cristiano's Craving

Fifty Five

Rose

I had a baby girl.

It was surreal.

I found it so hard to grasp the fact that I was a mother to a baby girl.

A baby girl I had no idea I was pregnant with.

"But I don't understand," I repeated, sighing and shaking my head. I rubbed my eyes, exhausted. I stared at the doctor in confusion, still puzzled.

"Your HCG levels were extremely low.  That was why your pregnancy test could've been negative. You had a denied pregnancy or a cryptic pregnancy. You didn't receive any symptoms besides headaches and cramps but they were little signs showing you were pregnant. You also mentioned that you've been stressed lately so that may have blocked you from realising you were pregnant."

"You also added a little bit of weight. Although it wasn't a lot, that was baby weight. Irregular periods mean that you probably didn't realise it was because you were pregnant. Your placenta was probably at the front of your uterus so you couldn't feel the baby kick."

I nodded, understanding. I sighed again, holding back from yawning as I stretched. "She's so premature," I whispered, my eyes moving over I gazed at my baby in the box they called an incubator. She was so tiny.

She was born at 25 weeks. Months earlier than she should've been born. Her lungs were still fragile and needed help.

In the incubator, she has oxygen tubes in her tiny nose and mouth, wires in her arms. I did not like seeing her in that state. I couldn't even hold my baby or feed her myself; I could only hold her hand and breast pump. She had to be fed through a tube.

I sighed as I gazed over at her, longing to hold and protect my baby. She had improved much since birth though. She added some more weight and was preparing to breathe on her own. She slept a lot though and I still hadn't seen her with her eyes open.

She was initially in NICU however, she had been moved back into my room after improving better. Aside from breathing problems and being premature, she was a healthy baby. A little small but she was doing extremely well.

For weeks we had been in the hospital and the baby had changed so much. Her health was getting much better and it seemed we would be in the hospital until she was a few months old, she needed time to recover and gain strength.

"But she's doing so well - you both are. You must be proud, she's healthy. It's only a few weeks until you guys can go home."

I nodded, giving the doctor a smile. "Thank you, I am. I'm just worried. I've heard a lot of stories about babies not surviving and disabilities when they're older." I gazed at my child in concern, longing for her.

"The way she's headed, I don't see any sign of any problems when she's older. You've got to keep optimistic. She's not going anywhere. That baby is a fighter."

I nodded, smiling as I gazed at the sleeping child. "Thank you. She is, just like her father." I thought about that handsome father of hers and wondered what was taking him so long.

Him and the idiots had gone out for a surprise for the baby and I. He said he would only take an hour. Two had passed.

"If I have another baby in the future," I began, licking my lips. "Will I have the same kind of pregnancy?"

The doctor shook his head. "That is unlikely. These kind of pregnancies are uncommon so you won't necessarily have the same kind. Don't worry."

I nodded, grateful. "Thank you, Doctor. That really helped."