Silver

Chapter 29

I outstretched my wings and shot upwards into the cloudy sky, hoping the thick blanket of grey would cover me from prying eyes below. But honestly- I didn't really care all that much anymore. About anything. 

Tears streamed silently down my cheeks as I soared away from his apartment. Or what was left of it anyways. I could've done worse. Much worse. They're lucky to escape with their spinal cords still intact. 

I could see the reflection of my soul's glow on the blanket of clouds below me, blueish white and ghostly. I hadn't truly been able to rein it back in just yet. The sheer fury of my soul scalded my willpower whenever I tried to chain it up again. It would probably take a while to pull myself back together. 

But I had to. 

Although it felt like it sometimes, my purpose of existing wasn't to love some Fallen who couldn't keep his dick in his pants. My purpose was the Reckoning. Saving innocent souls from damnation. And he wasn't about to keep me from that. 

I had to find somewhere to land while I figured out how to rein my soul back in. Unfortunately, I still looked like a megawatt firefly, so I couldn't just land anywhere. 

My eyes scanned the grey sea of clouds, searching for any source of light bright enough and high enough to provide refuge. At last- I had found one. We were in Paris, after all. 

I slowly curled my wings in close as I landed on top of the Eiffel Tower, clinging to the single spire on top for support. It was windy up here, but luckily, I was above the view of any civilians. 

And with that, I proceeded to attempt to conceal my heartbroken soul. It thrashed wildly as I tried to constrain it, scalding the underside of my skin as I tried to hold it down. All I wanted to do is let myself loose, let my soul run free and exact vengeance on the only man I'd ever loved.

I couldn't understand. He told me he wouldn't see her again. He told me I could trust him. He told me he loved me, and only me. 

Lies. They were all lies. And I had believed them. 

Weak, foolish, stupid little ol' me had believed him. 

How could I have betrayed myself like that? How did I let myself fall for him? From the very beginning he'd been an ass to me. He'd always treated me like I was less than him. And once I started to become more powerful than he could imagine, he made it his mission to return me to the puny little mortal he'd met that fateful night. 

I was backed into a corner then, restrained and exposed. 

I was backed into a corner now, restrained and exposed. 

We'd come full circle. 

I hated him. This is exactly why he Fell. He had no heart. No capacity to love. No care in the world other than satiating his own desires. 

I just couldn't believe I'd fallen for it. For him. 

I hated this. Even as my soul scalded the inside of my bones with fury and my heart was shattered and hollow, I loved him. I loved him more than I loved anything. And I would continue to burn and break over and over and over again to feel his love in return. 

Isn't that just pitiful.

Well. That's enough self pity. 

With one final shove, I forced my soul and emotions deeper down inside me until the deafening screams of betrayal were nothing but a dull roar. The pain was still there, evident as the light of the Eiffel Tower above me, but I could deal with it. I'd done this to myself. I had to face the consequences.