Loki After Endgame: Cheating Death

Chap 15: The Unsuspecting Piglet

Loki:

Sometime later I hear Kamilla calling from the kitchen, "Lunch is served!"

I follow behind Thor silently half-grinning at his little pig tail, not surprised that he hasn't noticed it yet. Once we reach the kitchen, I'm hit with the robust aroma of freshly made spaghetti sauce.

"Smells good." Thor comments, his usually chipper voice soft and melancholic. Kamilla scoops heaping servings of spaghetti onto three plates, then eyes Thor and grins, "Go hog wild."

I stifle a grin and roll my eyes, as I take a small bite of pasta. The delightful flavor of roasted tomatoes and garlic swirl in my mouth and I'm forced to admit that Kamilla is actually a decent cook. This is much better than the Asgardian version of pasta. Thor eats quickly and silently, then reaches for the bowl of spaghetti to take seconds.

"Stop hogging all the food Thor." Kamilla remarks with a wide grin. I nearly choke on my drink, Odin's Beard, this woman's sense of humor is atrocious!

The insult soars way over Thor's head and he freezes, his arm dangling awkwardly, a bewildered look on his face.

"I'm kidding Thor! Take as much as you want. I made enough to feed both of my favorite wittle piggies." Kamilla taunts playfully glancing at me out of the corner of her eye, as if she's waiting for me to join in on the fun. I roll my eyes in annoyance and take another small bite. Thor just grins, scooping more pasta onto his plate, "You are an excellent cook." He replies between mouthfuls.

"She's not bad. But I can do better." I retort smugly, pushing the pasta around on my plate. It is tasty, but there's no way I will give her the satisfaction of finishing everything on my plate.

Kamilla huffs, before repling icily, "Then why don't you make dinner tonight Princess?"

I grin spitefully and reply calmly without looking up from my plate, "I will. And it won't be nearly as boar-ing as this meal."

Kamilla gapes at me in shock for a moment, before losing herself in a fit of laughter. Thor's clueless blue eyes scrutinize her, but he just smiles awkwardly as he stuffs his mouth full of noodles. Once Kamilla regains her composure, she replies "Perhaps you can make something that's a bit less cons-pig-uous."

"I promise you this, my food won't be nearly as dis-pig-able as the Captain's specialty." I mutter slyly glancing at Thor.

Thor swallows his mouthful quickly then snaps, "Hey, are you implying that you don't approve of how I eat? Is that what you two dorks are giggling on about?"

"I'm afraid so, brother, you eat rather like a farm animal." I quip, raising a condescending eyebrow.

Thor bristles, clearly offended as Kamilla tries to hide her snickering, "Ignore him Thor. You're perfect just how you are; you're totally hog-able."

Thor resumes eating, eyeing us both carefully, then he sets his fork down and sighs loudly. "Okay. I get it. You're both mocking me, calling me a pig. Very clever indeed you two." Then he playfully scrunches up his nose to look like a pig, "Oink, oink!"

I burst into a laugh at the sight of him looking utterly piggish, and Kamilla giggles so hard that she falls to the floor. But Thor simply grins, happy to finally be in on the joke. Once Kamilla finally stops laughing and returns to her seat, I decide it's time to tell Thor the truth, "Oh Thor, you can be so obtuse." I begin as he stares at me with an annoyed expression. "Kamilla gave you the illusion of a tail this morning, and we've been waiting rather patiently for you to catch on all day."

Thor jumps to his feet, his expression stern, as he glares at Kamilla, "You did not!!"

I cast a spell to make a large mirror appear behind him and taunt,"See for yourself, Sparkles."