Alone (camp camp) *~DISCONTINUED~*

Aftermath

(24 days after school started). Trigger warning self harm and language
(Please stay safe!)
I wake up as usual hearing my alarm ringing to my right.
So I reach to turn it off.
But my stomach feels like it's on fire.
After the pain dies down I get my sweater, backpack, and.. something else.
I get my razor from under my bed. And unwrap the clean tissue it was wrapped in.
It's honestly... hard, to keep a razor.
You can't wash it when it gets dirty otherwise it will rust so you need to keep it as clean as you can.
But it's not like I get dried blood on it anyway.
I quickly wrap it in a new tissue and shove it into a small but safe compartment in my bag.
I then get out of the house, trying not to run into my parents again.
I didn't feel like eating breakfast because I was too anxious about what we had today.
The first unit test of the year.
If I get ANYTHING less than an A then I don't know what's coming, but I know it will hurt.
I actually thought my parents were being nice when they said I had to get an A and not an A+
But then I looked at the things we needed to study on the English test....
I've been studying all the time from this, and even pulled some all nighters could a couple days before the test.
I meet at the tree waiting for Nikki and Neil like I always did for these last couple weeks.
First Neil showed up, than Nikki and so we started walking.
"Hey max, can I ask you something?"
Said Neil sounding concerned.
"You literally just did."
I say, petty at ever.
"I'll take that as a yes."
"Fucking what ever."
I say in response.
"So... max, why do you always ware that sweater?"
As soon as Neil said that my Hart started racing.
What do I say? Will he believe me? What if he knows I'm lying?
"Out of pure spite."
I say with a fake smile.
"Both Nikki and Neil seem to believe me and stop questioning."
"Thank god."
I quietly whisper to myself.
We then arrive at this god forsaken school.
I learned this in the last couple of weeks.
They don't care about their students, they never do.
We go in and go to our lockers.
The first thing that hits me is what our lockers look like.
On Neil's locker it just said dork on Nikki's locker it said Fatass and on mine it said fag, spray painted in bold letters.
I turn around to see Nikki and Neil just standing there, stunned.
I knew why someone called Neil dork, but what I didn't know was why someone called Nikki fatass.
She wasn't even obese, and even If she was there's nothing wrong with that, everybody's beautiful the way they are.
This only filled me with anger.
"What the hell!?"
Said Neil clearly anger was heard in his voice.
And Nikki, Nikki didn't really do anything, she just looked off to the side like she knew That this was coming.
"But why would someone say that about you max?"
Said Nikki.
Hearing this brought back flashbacks of things I didn't want to think about.
Things I didn't want to remember.
Suddenly the room started spinning around me and I tried to calm myself down.
"I-I Don't know.."
I lied.
I was also noticing Neil being confused as to how me and Nikki weren't as mad as him about this.
But this just puzzled me.
"Neil why are you so fazed about this? I thought you said that you were bullied at your old school."
I said.
"Yeah, but nothing like this! It was more just like talking behind my back..."
Before we can say anything else the bell rings.
After that we walk to our first class.
On our walk there Nikki sees me visibly shaking and breathing faster.
Max, are you okay?"
Said Nikki.
"Y-Yeah, I just..."
I say in response.
"oh, is it the test? No offense, but you don't seem like the person to freak out about tests."
"But why are you freaking out? It's not that big of a deal..."
I than soon respond.
"I-it's just my parents... if I don't get a good grade then, they'll... g-get m-mad. And on top of it all, it's f-fucking Wednesday."
"What's wrong with Wednesday?"
She said in response.
"I-I cant tell you, I just... we need to get to class."

-778

Aaaaaaahhhh sorry this was such a cringeworthy chapter