The Devil Dancer

Chapter Forty Nine

I stared down towards the top of my feet as I sat quietly opposite Mr Kim at his working table, my mind still couldn't quite take in everything that I had learned just now.

Mr Kim has a picture of a younger me.

How is that even possible?

Even my mother doesn't keep any old photographs of us anymore, especially what with us losing the house and all. But then, even if she did keep it, it would be understandable since she's my mother after all.

But Mr Kim?

And not to mention that Kim Taemin guy...

I vaguely register a small headache forming inside my head at the single name alone.

"There was a reason why I came to Thailand that day."

At the wistful tone inside his voice, I lifted my head warily to look at him across the table.

"Kim Taemin was my dearest little brother and the only family I have left. When I first heard the news about the crash, I felt so betrayed," he continued.

"Why?" My mouth uttered unconsciously.

A sad smile took over his face, "My brother... he was a very private person. He doesn't like unnecessary attention, so he usually only kept everything to himself. Even from his own family."

I blinked my eyes slowly at the little piece of information, my hands fiddling around under the table.

"I was mad at him for leaving me so early when I still have so many things I wanted to ask him. There were a few times when I wondered if I'm the one at fault for not making enough effort but then...."

He trailed for a while before meeting my gaze, "But then there was you."

Me?

"Do you know why he rarely ever went to see you back then?" He asked out of the blue.

I searched inside my head as I went over the words that I had read not too long ago.

I shook my head hesitantly.

"He never exactly told me but I knew deep down that he was afraid he would start loving you."

My heart immediately let out a sharp pang at that. "What do you mean?"

"After our parents died when we were still young kids, Taemin started developing this little phobia where he stopped interacting with other people. We managed to get him some medical attention but the small issues still remained and ever since then he always avoided from getting attached to anyone."

"Including me," I guessed.

Mr Kim shot me a solemn look.

So all this time my father never left me and instead was actually afraid of commitments.

I honestly have no idea which one was worse.

"What about the letter then?" I asked when I started feeling the sadness build up inside me.

Mr Kim's face softened a bit at the mention of the sacred letter that he had kept inside his drawer for so long now.