Good Omens Oneshots

Zoo Day [Crowley X Reader]

Crowley had decided to take you to the zoo. He noticed the way you would always grow more excited whenever the two of you saw an animal, even when it was just a pigeon. Originally, he thought you would be excited to see them, but you were unusually quiet.

"Is everything alright, [Y/N]?"

"Uh, yeah," you said while fidgeting with your shirt. "Why?"

"You're quiet and twitching."

"Oh." You looked down at your feet and back out at the gorillas moving around some branches. "I...I get a bit carried away when I start talking about animals. People get annoyed. I don't want to annoy you."

Crowley frowned and looked at you. Sighing, he took a hand out of his pant pockets and draped it across your shoulders. He pulled you close to him and pressed a kiss into your hair.

"I brought you here so you could have fun and get excited. I want to hear about them. I won't get annoyed, I promise."

You looked up at him with a shy smile. A spark was ignited in your eyes. When you looked back at the gorillas, your smile widened.

"These are western lowland gorillas. There are eastern gorillas, too. Those are the two species, but there are four...maybe five subspecies? The eastern gorillas include mountain gorillas. But there aren't any mountain gorillas in captivity, so you won't see those at a zoo. But these guys are cool, too. Their scientific name is Gorilla Gorilla gorilla." You paused and laughed lightly. "Scientists aren't great at naming things."

"No, I don't think they are," Crowley hummed in agreement. "Tell me more."

You leaned into him with a smile. "We didn't officially discover gorillas until the 1840s. 'Course, that's just when white people saw them. Since then we've learned a lot about them. After chimpanzees, they're our closest living relatives. Then, it goes to orangutans and then gibbons. In that evolutionary line, gorillas were the first to be able to drink alcohol! Orangutans can't."

Crowley smirked. "My kind of monkey."

"Ape," you corrected. "They're really smart. They paint, solve puzzles, there's been a couple to learn sign language, too. And if you watch them for a while, you can really see their facial expressions. They feel things. They think. They're so close to us."

Crowley nodded and rubbed his thumb in circles on your shoulder. "Do...Do they build nests?"

"Yeah," you said with a grin. "They make their own beds every night. But they typically sleep in nests on the ground. Chimpanzees and orangutans sleep in the trees."

"Huh, Aziraphale was right."

"You thought only birds did that, didn't you?" you said with a cheeky grin.

"Shut up."

You giggled and pulled his hand towards the gibbons. "There are great apes and lower apes. Gibbons are the only lower apes, 'cause they're less than us? I don't really know. But there are different species of them. They also don't really have thumbs. Their hands act as hooks so they can brachiate through the trees."

"Brachiate?" Crowley asked with his nose scrunched up. "What's that?"

You pointed at a gibbon swinging through the branches and poles as if they were monkey bars. "That's brachiating."

"Oh. That's a big word for just that." A snort came out your nose from Crowley's words. "Are you going to the pigs next?"

"Shut up!" you laughed and pushed him.

"So you said there are different species of gibbons. What species are these?"

"White-cheeked," you deadpanned while watching a male gibbon with black fur and white cheeks swing through.

"I feel stupid."

"You're not. You're incredibly smart. You just haven't learned this yet."

"Well." Crowley moved so his arms circled around your waist. He rested his chin on your shoulder. "You're incredibly smart, too."