Good Omens Oneshots

Caterpillars [Crowley X Reader]

Whenever Crowley seemed to imagine something, it became reality. Or at least, the bits of his imagination that he believed could be true. Any car he got in, automatically had a cassette player in it. You were flabbergasted the first time he got in your car. Then, you asked how old his watch was. It seemed to be vintage, but it worked just fine. That, too, was astounding as he never bothered to change the battery. One time, he admitted he imagined you and him were dating. Of course, it didn't magically happen. But It still happened all the same. Finally, there were his plants. Now, you weren't sure if they trembled because they were actually afraid of him, or because Crowley imagined that they were and would tremble in fear. After realizing that they did indeed shake, no matter the reason, you took it upon yourself to give them some extra attention and love.

There was one fern that he had just purchased at a local greenhouse that you were really working on nurturing. It didn't know the fear of Crowley yet, so you wanted to make sure it stayed innocent as long as possible. Your hands gently caressed its long, leafy stems. Then, you paused.

"Why are your leaves missing?" you asked in confusion and examined the stem you had just touched. "What the Hell?" A part of you was starting to panic. If Crowley saw this, he'd throw a fit. Then, you saw it. Or rather them. There were two plump caterpillars munching away on the leaves. One was a dark brown. It could almost be mistaken for some weird animal feces. The other was a bright green just like the fern, you nearly missed it.

Quickly, you took out your cellphone and texted your boyfriend.

You: don't kill your fern, it's innocent

SnekBF: What did it do?

You: nothing! it has 2 caterpillars munching on it i'll take care of it

SnekBF: ...

You: plz don't kill it

SnekBF: Fine

You: ~<3

With a sigh, you trimmed the nearly devoured stems and carried the hungry, hungry caterpillars out of the secret plant room. You grabbed your keys to his flat and ventured down the stairs. With just about every other step you took, you'd glance at the little worms to make sure they were still there.

"I'm not ready to be a parent," you sighed, but soon grew relieved when you were blinded by the light outside. "Let's see," you hummed to yourself and looked for a place with more vegetation. Then, you spotted a nice leafy bush that was hopefully barren of any predators.

With a light skip, you made your way over and knelt down on the ground. Carefully, you placed the fern's stem in the bush. You smiled lightly as you watch the caterpillars squirm around onto the new bush and started munching on the leaves. It was interesting, seeing their behavior as they raced against the clock to eat as much as possible. Hopefully, they'd turn into beautiful butterflies and pollinate hundreds of flowers.

"Whatcha doing?"

You jumped and spun around, falling on your butt. You looked up seeing the smirking demon look down at you. "C-Crowley!" you stammered out while clutching your heart. "You scared me."

"Sorry," he said but didn't sound all too apologetic. He held a hand out and hoisted you off of the ground. "What were you looking at?"

"The caterpillars that were on your fern. I released them here," you grinned and looked back at them.

Crowley was silent for a moment as he watched you. A light blush spread to his cheeks. In an instant, he pulled you close to him and nuzzled his face into your neck. "You're too sweet and cute."