Good Omens Oneshots

Smite [Aziraphale X Reader]

With your eyes down towards your feet, you kept walking down the sidewalks. If you were to lift your eyes up, you would ultimately trip over the unevenness of the sidewalk. There would be a ridge protruding like a mountain. A mountain to ants, at least. Though, that mountain would make you fall. Still, you kept your ears open. It was always a bit intimidating walking alone. Especially when men were about.

Though, once you neared your destination, you looked up. There was what appeared to be a man in his tan coat and pants. His bright curly head of hair was turned away from you. No, he wasn't a man. Perhaps that's why you were more comfortable around him and why you had that bright grin on your face as you were getting ready to cross the street.

As you were waiting for the mechanical chirping of the birds to tell you it was safe to cross, a truck pulled up. The breath in your lungs stilled, as it did every time a car came up to you. Your heart shuttered multiple times as the windows to the truck rolled down. It was only then you realized it was a truck belonging to the government, parks department to be exact. You thought you were safe.

A man whistled from the truck. "Hey!" he screamed.

You glanced over and saw he was looking right at you. Your blood froze. You wanted to cry. This wasn't fair!

The birds for the stoplight started chirping and you hurried across the street. When you looked over towards where Aziraphale was standing, you saw he was looking at the truck. You felt dread build up inside you, hoping you wouldn't have to explain yourself to him.

When you got to him, he looked at you with a serious frown. "Are you alright, my dear?" You shook your head and buried your face in his chest as you wrapped your arms around him. "Right, it's okay to be upset." He glanced over to the truck as it started to drive off. He brought his hand down from the Heavens and snapped.

There was an explosion. You jumped and turned to look at what happened. Tire debris littered the ground and the truck screeched as the metal of its wheel scraped against the pavement. It came to a sudden halt and the two men in the truck burst out to examine what the Heavens happened.

You looked back to Aziraphale who put on his best innocent looking face. "Aziraphale, did you do that?"

"Me? No, no," he shook his head and rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. "Perhaps I did. It was my version of smiting evil and all."

"And they're evil?"

"Sexual harassment is evil," Aziraphale said seriously. "Especially when they harass you, my dear. You are very important to me, after all." He took your hand and brought it up to his lips. "I would smite anyone that even thought of hurting you! Now, should we get going?"

"Shouldn't we make sure they're okay?" you asked and glanced back at the men examining their car. One had just started to pull his cellphone out. Aziraphale looked over and snapped his fingers. The phone exploded in the man's hands.