Reborn An Autobot (Jazz X OC) [DISCONTINUED]

28. Ever Again

I stared at his blank, lifeless optics, breath growing more and more uneven by the second, hoping against hope he would suddenly sit up and smirk at me looking like a mess or trying to brighten my day.

Nothing.

"You.... you promised...." I sobbed, my helm falling on his chest as I clenched his slack servo in my own.

"You promised.... you wouldn't leave..." I cried, this pain racing through me made The Fallen's little trick feel like just that, little.

I did not realize for much I had come to depend on Jazz, seeing him as the strong, unstoppable warrior.

"Please.... Please...." I pleaded, though I do not know what I pleaded for.

I kept my servo clenched on his, hoping to feel a twitch or for it to wrap around my own like he did so often last night.

Maybe I am cursed to live alone, maybe this was a punishment for giving up humanity for a new life in a new race.

Servos carefully pulled me away as I scrambled to hold onto Jazz.

"NO! NO!" I shrieked, fighting their hold on me as they hugged me against a heavy build frame, pulling me away from my love.

I watched as a familiar green-yellow bot came into my view, one I knew I could trust him but my mind was unable to produce names right now, to do anything but cling to Jazz like my life depended on it.

I watched the bot check Jazz's neck, looking at the damage to his chestplates before sighing and shaking his head as he lightly closed Jazz's optics the rest of the way.

The bot's arms holding me slackened in shock and pain. I used this time to scrabble to Jazz's side, the full truth finally hitting me as I cried out my pain, my helm falling into Jazz's cold neck, great large painful sobs escaping me as I held onto Jazz's arm in desperation, our time together flying through my mind.

A sudden phrase stood out to me, one he told me not but a few hours ago in a calm and quiet building, far from war and death.

Nothin' but a theory, but emotions have been playin' a part in yer powers fer a while, if ya think of it. Maybe we were lookin' at this all wrong, maybe it ain't willpower, it's emotions.....

Emotions. I thought, pulling my helm from his neck to stare at his quiet, serene but lifeless face, watching the color of the metal slowly fade before my optics.

Emotion.

What emotion did I have left to feel?

Determination filled my optics as I placed my servos over the hole in his chest, faintly hearing someone question what I was doing but I was in my own realm.

I let myself fully feel it all, let the emotions overwhelm me till I was drowning in an ocean of them with no end.

Hope.

Fear.

Grief.

Love.

Sadness.

Depression.

Pain.

Love.

Love, Love, Love, an tidal wave of love, stronger than I ever thought it could be.

My mind flashed with the first time I met Jazz, to all our times in the cove, to carving out board game pieces while sitting in my hanger, to training, to racing and playing around. Laughs, happiness, and jokes tossed between us both. To the first day I felt love for him, to the day I discovered what it was I was feeling, the slow rise in love for him as time passed, all his selfless little acts, all the time I watch him, learned his ways and turned them against him while finally getting glimpses of the bot beneath the mask. Blue optics and a visor flashed through my mind in a thousand different memories.