Reborn An Autobot (Jazz X OC) [DISCONTINUED]

47. Determination

I sat, leaning against my project table, arm held out and displaying the same image of my frame that Ratchet sent me, my optics locked onto it and constantly watching the image spin and spin.

Slowly, my mind was accepting it and, slowly, my panic was fading.

My worry wasn't though.

Could I be a good parent?

I told Anthony the truth, all those years ago. I just wasn't cut of the same cloth as him, my mind always focused on my job, then on my mission, then my projects.

Could I apply the same focus to a sparkling?

I felt like I couldn't.

I turned off the image, my helm smacking against one of the legs of the table, optics closed tight. Now, fully, my fear hit me. A sob bubbled out, then another, and another as coolant leaked down my face, all of my emotions bubbling to the surface as I kept the bond firmly blocked between Jazz and I.

All of my pain, my loneliness, my anger, all of it came pouring out.

But mostly my fear.

I stopped crying, wiping under my optics, feeling so down, when I froze.

I felt that.

A small touch, faint and a little confused, of love and worry.

That didn't come from Jazz.

I stared at the wall, suddenly realizing just how... innocent that felt, like emotions speaking in a voice, asking me what was wrong.

I placed a servo on my stomach, looking down, even through my stomach was flat and nothing gave away I held a sparkling there. Emotions rose in me, remembering Ellie's cute little smile and how it tugged at my heart, seeing my brother in the child's eyes.

Seeing Anthony's eyes in Cindy, his granddaughter.

This felt so much stronger.

Suddenly, I realized this sparkling is more than just half me, it's half Jazz. Of course the sparkling would worry about me.

A sobbing laugh escaped me.

"Already turning out like Jazz, are you? Somehow, I have a feeling you will be a lot like him." I said softly.

I felt nothing new from the sparkling, leading me to believe that was all the interaction the sparkling had in it right now.

It was still a shocking experience.

But, after feeling such beautiful innocence, I could not hate what has happened to me. I actually felt awful, that in a part of my mind I ignored, I kind of hated what happened to me.

But I can't hate this bright and loving innocence, innocence that already cares for me.

I cleaned under my optics once more and stood, determined now.

I have a few hours until Jazz returns and I got my work cut out for me. I stood and quickly dug through my mess of prototypes, searching through and finding the many different destroyed pieces or things I just gave up on.

I pulled out a machine, one of the oldest one's in the pile.

After being transformed into a cybertronian, I did much experimenting to understand fully what I had become, as the visions did not tell me everything. Studying the strength of cybertronian metal, and studying my own energon to try to understand it's similarities to human blood.

I was so glad for my masters science degree, none of this I am about to do would be possible without it.

I carried and dropped the machine on the table, quickly opening it and beginning to cut wires, rearrange things and create new chips and boards, sautering them in and connecting wires.