Reborn An Autobot (Jazz X OC) [DISCONTINUED]

33. Irresistible

I pulled over some more pieces to Optimus's new armor as I sat cross legged on the floor, placing the pieces together as I connected them at the different joint points, Jazz standing against the wall, watching me and mentally questioning how I kept up with the hundreds of different little pieces as I simply and easily placed them correctly together.

I dropped my battle mask to protect my optics, Jazz not needing to with his visor returned. After returning from our week trip, we found our original alt modes had been brought for us to scan once more. Once more I was in my purple alt form, out of the baby blue.

And Jazz was back in his Ferrari alt form.

I was secretly glad he was.

I had somewhat learned how to hide my thoughts from him, so I still kept this thought hidden.

Too embarrassing to admit.

"Ah am gonna go train with 'Hide, go talk ta Optimus about the possible whereabouts of Megatron." Jazz said suddenly as I began to make some connecting welds.

I popped my battle mask up, looking at him. I focused on the floor intently. We had only been back in Diego Garcia for a few hours and I really didn't want Jazz to know about my panic attacks.

"Alright then." I said brightly, sitting on the floor with blueprints laid out, pretending to be studying them. I could feel Jazz's optics on me, his confusion coming across the bond before he sighed.

Alright, I will leave you alone then. He thought softly as he stood.

I smiled slightly, sending love across the bond. It was still taking some getting used to, but I now saw clearly why cybertronians never had breaking relationships. After getting to know someone so personally, how could you ever let them go?

I looked up and blankly watched him leave before focusing on the floor once more. I waited until I was sure he was quite a distance away.

1....2....3....4.... I thought to myself, counting the scratches in the floor.

I suddenly felt Jazz's full confusion, noticing his focus on me.

What are you doing? He asked in confusion.

I blinked, the bond reaches across distance? I thought it was only nearby that we could hear each others thoughts.

Uhhhh.... I thought slowly, fighting memories. Sadly, a memory of clutching shaking servos tightly hit me before I could cover it.

I winced as I felt Jazz's horror.

Were you... gripping your servos tightly enough to draw energon?! Jazz thought in horror.

No. I thought quickly, making my mind go blank.

Please, Everlyn, don't shut me out. Jazz thought sadly, nearly begged.

I looked down out of reaction, knowing this conversation was entirely in my mind but still I reacted the same as if he was present.

I couldn't deny him, especially when he practically begged me. I knew, fully now, how much he cares for me.

Just as much as I care for him.

I... didn't handle your death well. I thought carefully, images flashing through my mind of the absolute spark breaking pain and grief I suffered. I winced as I could practically feel his flinch away from the images. I was just glad he was walking back to my hanger and no one was around him. He might not... take this well.

Go... go on. He thought worriedly.

Ratchet... pieced it together. I was denying it, not wanting to see that I had developed such a... weakness. I thought sadly.