Reborn An Autobot (Jazz X OC) [DISCONTINUED]

29. Will I Watch You Fall

I stared at the setting sun, feeling a bit off as Ratchet had turned off my receptors for my damaged wing till I had the tools to fix it. My shoulders were repaired and wrapped, leaving me with no pain.

I was excited to work on my new project, even if the project made me sad too. A large pile of cybertronian metal set on the middle of the Aircraft Carrier we were currently on. Because of that metal, I am no longer the only Autobot flyer. Turns out, while I was slowly spiraling down in depression, Jetfire gave his own parts to help Optimus take down The Fallen. After the battle it was in some pretty bad shape, so I knew I had my work cut out for me, making it functional, but I was excited for the work.

I watched the waves flicker and change color in the setting star, feeling quite relaxed.

Then again, that could be because of the bot currently holding me to his side.

I was still in a bit of shock that I actually was able to grasp my powers. What terrified me though was the feeling that I had not even grasped them all.

And that thought was extremely terrifying.

Also the terrifying thought of me wanting Jazz to be my sparkmate. That terrified me too. I couldn't imagine the idea, of being able to hear and feel the person you bond with for the rest of your days. Ratchet, during that embarrassing conversation so long ago, gave me a basic rundown but I still couldn't imagine it, yet craved it.

As a human, such things didn't exist. As a human either the relationship did or didn't work, but you could step away if it doesn't.

For Cybertronians, it is permanent, a life long unbreakable bond. A have only seen a few vision of those who were bonded, but as an outsider view. But I did notice the quick looks and actions like whole conversations were happening behind the scenes.

I know that such bonds also expose all that you are to the other over time. I oddly.... wanted to show Jazz all that I was, the good and the bad, and it made my whole frame tingle, even as embarrassed as I was by such thoughts.

I really was in too deep, how did I not realize how much I had come to depend on this bot?

I didn't care now, he is amazing.

I turned my head on Jazz's shoulder, looking up at him. His visor was still missing, cracked and destroyed by the explosion that knocked us away from each other. Ratchet apparently had more of the material, something not of earth's metals, back at Diego Garcia. The lenses of my battle mask were made of a mix of materials when I was experimenting so long ago in that dark cave, far out on the desert we were sailing away from. 

Luckily my battle mask was not damaged in this battle, which I was glad for. I was surprised to learn that I had never told Optimus or the others that the cave I was reborn in contained metal, clearly cybertronian metal. Ratchet wished for a small group to go there and mine the metal, any to replenish our low stock for repairs is needed.

I don't think Ratchet liked taking off parts and melting down dead Decepticons. I wasn't too much of a fan either but sometimes you did what you could to survive.

Jazz's digits were running along my undamaged wing, like he knew I was thrown off by only having half of my senses. I was extremely tired, but unwilling to sleep. My mind seemed to be having a hard time grasping Jazz was truly alive and beside me, like if he disappeared for a moment my mind would convince itself that he was nothing more than a dream.

I could not deal with it if it was. The image of his lifeless optics and slack servo in my own were imprinted in my mind and likely would never fully go away.

I have dealt with death of those I care for, but never had I seen it up close and watched them fade before my optics.

It was a horrifying, traumatizing thing to watch. The image for his final smile and slowly fading optics appeared anytime I so much as closed my optics.