CHAPTER 47

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I was getting in my car once school was over

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I was getting in my car once school was over. I was completely exhausted and over everything. I may not show it, but this depression shit is getting even worse. I didn't understand myself at this point and I didn't understand what was I gone do to change it.

I drove the long way home because I just wanted to ride. I knew when I got home it was gone be some bullshit. I felt it in my soul. I was dead tired of going to that house. My mom was definitely the reason I  went back into this stage & one day I was gone explode.

Once I got home I got out. I looked over to see August car gone. Me and him haven't talked for a whole week. He been trying to talk to me but honest I don't need nobody who gone make my life worse than it already is. I do miss him though and I miss his smile.

"PAYTON COME IN HERE" I heard my mother yell. I sigh closing the door.

"Yooo- who you" I cut myself off once I realized it was sum lady sitting on the couch beside my mother.

"I'm Brittany Sams, I'm apart of the Therapy of New Orleans organization" she said and I step back a lil bit.

"Please tell me this ain't what I think it is" I dropped my head shaking it no.

"You need it. Your aren't same Payton. I'm just trynna make sure your ok?" My mom said and I wanted to straight punch the shit outta her.

"Make sure I'm ok?" I asked as my eyes got watery. "You the one who did this to me." I told her as I dropped my hands in my sweat pockets.

"Miss.East can we talk" the lady asked me and I shook my head no as tears rolled down my face.

"No. I didn't call you here." I told her and my mother stood up.

"Payton your going to talk to her whether you like it or not" she said and I nodded. Maybe I should talk to her.

"Fine. Where am I suppose to talk to you at?" I asked as I wiped my face.

"The kitchen would be fine" she said and I nodded walking to the kitchen. Once I got there I sat at the end table and she sat in the chair to the right of me.

"Ok Miss.East can you start off by telling me how you feelings?" She asked as she put her bag on the table grabbing a notebook and pen.

"Distance and Tired" I told her keeping my answer short. I swear I hated these things. Make me feel like I have to depend on somebody like I need when I don't.

"I understand that you been through this before. I'm so sorry you have to go through this" she said and I nodded sitting back in my chair.

"I'm good. I'll get through it" I told her and she nodded.

"Now will you start by telling me the day you went through depression?" She said and I nodded.

"I watched the only person I had die in my arms. After she passed, I lived by myself for five months with nothing but water. M-" I closed my eyes as I thought about it. I was on the verge of tears.

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