𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄─𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞¹ (𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠)

72. now I lay me

Once night had begun to fall, we stopped and set up camp. There was a clear division between us and the Grounders within the small clearing in the woods which we would call base for the night. We had several tents sent up whereas they opted to sleep on the ground.

I sat by the fire on our side, watching as Clarke moved towards where the Grounders were. I narrowed my eyes as she began setting up her jacket as a makeshift pillow. I eavesdropped as Bellamy said something to her about coming to our side, how it was safer. Clarke simply responded that there were no sides anymore. I almost laughed out loud as a single thought cross my mind "Yeah, tell that to my brother".

I rolled my eyes and I stood from the fire, escaping into my tent to get away from the Grounders, and Clarke.

I had just gotten myself comfortable when Bellamy showed up at the door, "What are you doing?" he asked,

I stared back at him, "What does it look like I'm doing?"

Bellamy huffed as he fully entered the tent. It was my turn to ask him what he was doing.

"Sleeping in here." he answered, moving around to make himself comfortable. I didn't answer, just stared up at the roof of the tent, listening to the noises outside.

"Is Clarke still sleeping with the enemy?" I grumbled. I didn't turn to see Bellamy's face but I could picture his expression.

"Avery, come on." he whispered. I knew he was afraid of upsetting me, he clearly didn't want this to turn into a fight.

"It's their fault he's dead," my voice was lower now, it wavered as I tried to hold back tears. "It's their fault Clarke killed him." I didn't want him to see me cry, even though it seems that is all I had done for the past day. I turned away from him, my eyes focusing on the wall of the tent.

Bellamy didn't say a word, the two of us just lay in silence as the minutes passed. The only sounds that could be heard was the forest moving around us, and the quiet murmurs of those still awake outside.

I was almost asleep when I felt him move closer to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me towards his warm body. I hesitated for a moment before flipping over and burying my head into his chest. We fell asleep like that, and for the first time since everything had happened, I felt somewhat content.

---

My state of content did not last long. It had been a few hours since we had fallen asleep, any noise from the others outside had since ceased.

It was my own screams that had woken me. I sat up, breaking free from Bellamy's grasp as I pushed hair out of my face, now clinging to my skin from a cold sweat.

The commotion had awoken Bellamy, along with others members of camp I assumed.

"What's going on?" Bellamy asked, sitting up in concern. I shook my head as I buried my head in my hands.

"Nothing" I whispered.

He gently removed my hands from over my face, "Was it a nightmare?" he asked as he took one of my hands into his own.

I sucked in a sharp breath as I looked over at him, "He was here."

Bellamy watched me with soft eyes, not proding me to continue, but I did so nonetheless. "He was here and then he was-" I paused, "There was blood everywhere and-and I couldn't save him. I didn't save him."

"You did everything you could. We all know that, Avery. Finn knew that."

"Clearly my everything wasn't enough."

Bellamy let out a sad sigh as he laid back down, pulling me along with him, "Try to get some more rest." he whispered as he moved closer to me once again, his warmth providing me with comfort.

With Bellamy by my side, I felt calm enough, safe enough, to fall back into sleep.

---

Morning brought a whole new struggle. I knew this would be the last time Finn was just my brother-not some ritual that the Grounders performed.

I sat on the cart that carried his body this time. I didn't touch him, I didn't even look at him, but I sat near him, knowing that this would be the last time that I would physically be near my brother.

My body bounced as the cart went over numerous bumps in the dirt path that was leading to the village. Raven sat beside me, her hand gripping mine.

Not long after we had set out, we came to a halt in front of what looked like a makeshift wall. The Grounders up front yelled something, which was followed by the gates slowly opening.

A few more Grounders walked out from within the walls, one carrying a basket. The one with said basket began demanding all of our weapons. Raven and I shared a look as we dismounted the cart, heading up towards the front where the others were.

I watched with a clenched jaw as Bellamy took his gun off his shoulder, placing it in the basket. The others followed suit, but Raven and I remained still until Gustus approached us.

I glared up at him, waiting for him to speak, "Weapons." he demanded, his eyes scanning my body for any sign of them.

"I don't have any." I spat, my voice cold.

He glanced back at the Commander before taking a step closer, "So you wouldn't mind if I searched you then?" Without waiting for a response, he reached into my jacket, searching through my pockets.

I jumped back, reaching up to shove him away, "Don't touch me!" I snapped.

He lunged forwards, just as Bellamy rushed to my side, placing his body in between the two of us, "Back off." he ordered, before turning to face me, "Avery, you have to let them search you," he whispered, his pleading eyes boring into mine.

I glanced at Bellamy and then over his shoulder to Gustus. With a deep breath and a locked jaw, I conceded, stretching my arms out so he could search for the weapons I did not carry.

"Fine."